


Forever Yours

by Sy_Itha



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 00:26:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3670674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sy_Itha/pseuds/Sy_Itha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Republic City has fallen into ruin at hands of a powerful being. Asami and a small band of soldiers is trying to keep it contained and find a way to stop it, but at what cost?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please take the time to read the foreword  
> Sy

Foreword

 

**Please take the time to read this before continuing to the first chapter.**

****

I would like to clarify, that while Michelle has read this to proofread, I wrote this on my own. She had no say in the story development. This story is vastly different from most of my other works. My style is evolving and I wanted to use this story to explore some darker themes. Because of that I feel I need to give you a few warnings.

 

**This is not a happy story.This story deals with characters dealing with loss and sorrow.**

           

            Michelle read this for me to proof read and started crying within the first 2,000 words. It was not the last time it made her cry. Please do not read this expecting it to be fluffy, or happy. It is neither of those things.

 

**This story contains major character death and somewhat graphic depictions of death.**

           

            I am trying to give ample warning to readers who may be sensitive to this kind of story. This is not a story for everyone and I understand that, please seriously consider this before reading.

 

**There is explicit lesbian sex.**

 

            While usually it is a given that my stories include sex scenes, I am putting this here in case people didn’t bother to read the tags (I myself sometimes don’t bother reading all the tags when I look at a fic)

 

**Korrasami is in this story but is not the main paring**

I understand if you came here looking for a solid Korrasami fic. I would like to ask that you at least give this a chance if you are not put off by the depressing nature of this story.

 

**If you still want to read this:**

 

Please let me know in the comments what you thought. If you’d like to take pictures of your reactions, or record your reactions, I would love to see them. Please tag me on tumblr sy-itha.

 

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this,

 

Sy


	2. Chapter 2

Asami paused at the corner of the alleyway, her back pressed tightly against the crumbling brick wall. She panted lightly, once again wishing she had the resources to create a more practical facemask. But she would rather have the protection than not. The built-in goggles were outfitted with rudimentary night vision and they needed every advantage they could get.

Slowly she leaned forward to peer into the main street. The eerie green tint that the goggles gave the city seemed fitting. It was no longer the city she knew, the city she loved. It was little more than a mess of spirit vines and building rubble now. A shiver raced down her spine as she remembered her last encounter with ‘it.’

There were footsteps coming now. Light quick footsteps nearly imperceptible against the pavement. She didn’t have to turn to know who it was. They had been dodging through these streets together for months now. Asami wished the presence brought a smile to her face, but she hadn’t been doing that much anymore. More footsteps followed. They sounded uneven and far too loud, like puppies scampering. She pushed the thought away with the knowledge that she wouldn’t get a chance to know most of their names before she’d have to bury them.

A hand landed gently on her shoulder, giving a small squeeze. It was a question: _Is everything alright?_ Asami didn’t turn her eyes from the street. Instead she covered the hand with her own and squeezed back. _I’ll be fine._ The hand lingered for a moment longer than was probably necessary before sliding off. Asami blindly pointed behind her, then waved a hand. _Go!_ She had to admit the military hand signals were immensely useful and had become nearly a second language to her now.

She watched as the recruits were led across the empty street. She waited and watched. She saw the ‘all clear’ from across the street and darted out from her alleyway. She was half way across the street when she heard it: the sound of a chain dragging against the pavement. Her heartbeat tripled. She forced her feet to keep moving. She made it across, not daring to look over her shoulder. The platinum doors to the forward base had already begun to close. She slid through just before they clanged shut. She pushed down the wave of nausea that threatened to overcome her, pressing her hands against the door to feel something solid, to ground her. She tugged off her mask, desperate for air.

“Asami?” Bolin asked. He’d hopped down from the door controls and now knelt at her side. “Did it get you?”

She shook her head and struggled to form words. “No. I was just surprised. I thought we had tabs on h- it”

Bolin’s jaw tightened. “We lost another scouting party.”

“Damn it.” Asami closed her eyes and willed the tears away. She couldn’t afford to cry now, not where there were new recruits.

“They’re waiting in the comm room,” Bolin said quietly. “Do you need me to buy you some time?”

“No I’ll be fine. Is she in there already?”

“Yeah.” Bolin hesitated. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Asami gave him a look and he shook his head. “Right, sorry, stupid question.”

Asami pushed off from the wall and made her way to the comm room. She looked over the group, all with equalist masks standing at attention.

“Masks off,” Asami said. The group awkwardly removed the covering. Asami tried not to let her surprise show. _Spirits, they’re children._ When Tenzin had said he was sending his best airbenders, she had expected they would have at least hit puberty. She was happy to see Kai and Opal, but the happiness gave way to dread. This place was a death sentence. The whole city was just a grave and all you could do was try to keep clawing up the side until it buried you.

“I’m Asami, and I’ll be in charge of your training while you’re here.” She tried to keep the emotion out of her voice. “I don’t know what you’ve been told about Republic City and the state it’s in, but I assure you, whatever stories you’ve heard, the reality is much worse.” She paused to take a breath. “There will need to be a few adjustments made to your outfits. Any metal is a liability, and so piercings, belt buckles, necklaces, buttons, _anything_ that is not platinum, needs to be removed or replaced with platinum.” She took a moment to meet each and every one of their eyes to make sure she drove the point home. “As air benders, you are invaluable to us. The glider suits will allow you to move most freely through the cities. Your primary objective will be to monitor its location. You will not engage the target. Let me be clear. There is not a ‘what if?’ situation here. You. Will. Not. Engage. The. Target. Is that understood?” They all bobbed their heads in agreement. “Good, Mako will show you to your bunks and we will debrief you tomorrow on your schedules and assignments. Dismissed.” She watched them file out of the comm room and Mako met them out in the hall. Once they were gone, Asami let her shoulders fall. She leaned over and braced her hands on the table.

“I think perhaps the military life is starting to rub off on you.”

Asami shook her head and glanced at the figure standing in the shadows, mask still in place. “How long are you going to keep that thing on? Opal is going to find out who you are sooner or later.”

“I didn’t want to steal your thunder. You are very intimidating, Miss Sato.” Kuvira pulled off the mask. “And this way you have a chance to speak with her before she bends all the air out of my lungs.”

Asami straightened and crossed her arms. “I really doubt Opal would do that.”

Kuvira raised a brow. “I don’t discount any possibilities.”

“So you’ve said before,” Asami said softly. Her hands clenched as she recalled the last time those words were spoken.

Kuvira took a step closer. Asami could feel her eyes move over her body. “I know better than to ask you if you’re alright, but did it get you? Are you injured?”

“I got in just in time.” Asami said. She wrapped her arms tighter around her body. “I thought after a while it might get easier, but it just…doesn’t.”

Kuvira’s hand was on her shoulder again. “No, it doesn’t.” She tugged a little and Asami took the last step needed to be in her arms. She let Kuvira hold her, but did not uncross her arms.

“I should get down to Varrick and my father,” Asami murmured softly. If she leaned forward a little her lips would be against Kuvira’s skin. _Don’t go there._

“They can spare you a moment longer,” Kuvira whispered. Her hands moved along Asami’s back in slow soothing strokes. She wanted to relax, she wanted to be lost in the feeling of being held, but she never could quite bring herself to let down her guard. She pushed just enough to apply pressure against Kuvira’s chest. She stopped rubbing Asami’s back and took a step away from her.

“I really need to go. You know how they get without me there to mediate.” Asami turned toward the door so she wouldn’t have to look at Kuvira’s expression.

“Asami,” Kuvira said gently. Asami didn’t turn around, but paused in the doorway. “If you need anything-”

Asami’s smile quivered into something resembling a grin.  “I know.”

 

***

 

Asami walked to the most heavily fortified door in the entire compound. She pressed the intercom button and a buzzing noise echoed down the hallway as the lock was release and the door slowly opened. She took a breath, hoping that Varrick and her father hadn’t gotten into any fights lately. Fortunately they were on opposite sides of the lab.

“Any progress?” she asked. She grabbed her goggles from the table and slid them over her head before turning to the circuit board on her workbench.

“Well, I haven’t been blown up today, so I think we’re heading in the right direction,” Varrick called. She glanced over at the handwritten sign on the wall that said, ‘It has been: ~~2~~ 0 days since last explosion.’

“The day’s not over yet,” Hiroshi said. “But I was thinking we should get Kuvira in here to help us determine the best way to keep the inner workings from being metalbent.”

Hearing Kuvira’s name sent a strange mix of emotions coursing through her. “I don’t think we should worry about that until we have something that actually works.”

“Maybe, but the weapon doesn’t do any good if it works and then she – it just dismantles it.” Hiroshi countered.

“I don’t think it works like that. I mean, when my you made those mech suits, they had internal components that weren’t platinum but Lin and the police force still couldn’t bend them.”

“But we’re not talking about Lin here, Asami.” Hiroshi looked up from his worktable. “We really don’t know what it’s capable of.”

Asami set down her soldering iron. Her hands were shaking and she couldn’t afford to botch this. “You forget.” She met his gaze. “I know exactly what she’s capable of.”

“It.” Hiroshi corrected.

Asami fought the urge to scream out in frustration. Instead, she looked over at Varrick. “So what do you think? Do you think the plan will work?”

“Honestly?” He sighed. “It doesn’t really matter, does it? I mean it’s our best shot to try to stop this before it decides to leave Republic City.”

“It won’t leave,” Asami whispered. “Not as long as I’m here.” That was probably the thought that haunted her most. As much as she wanted to distance herself from what she knew was coming, some lingering part of her mind wanted to believe there was another way. The lab was nearly silent now, just the occasional ‘pass me the screwdriver’ and the sounds of tools against metal. Work was something that always managed to calm her. Everything was ordered in machines. Every piece belonged in only one place. Asami threw herself into her task, just as she had during Korra’s absence.

Her breath left her. _Korra_. She had been so careful to keep that name from her mind, but still it lingered there. _Korra._ She couldn’t control her breathing. Panic welled inside her and she was drowning in it. _Korra_ , _where did it all go so wrong?_ She heard a crash and absently realized she knocked something off her table. She stumbled and fell to her knees. She pressed her hands against the floor. She needed something stable to ground her, but the room felt like it was spinning.

“Asami?” Voices called to her but they all seemed so far away. Her ears were filled with words from another time, a voice she hadn’t heard in so long. The world around her seemed to fade, nothing but blue. Blue like a crystal clear ocean, like the color of glaciers or acetylene torches.

“Asami.” _Asami._ She remembered how Korra would say her name, like it was a prayer, like it was something sacred. She remembered how easy it used to be to say Korra’s name, as easy as breathing. But even breathing was hard now. It was as if something had wrapped around her chest and her lungs couldn’t fully expand. Something _was_ around her chest. She blinked, trying to clear her mind.

“Asami.” A voice whispered softly. _Asami._ She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists, her nails digging into her palm, the dull pain sending some clarity. She slowed her breathing. She could feel the cold metal floor below her and warm arms around her. Breath puffed against her ear, spilling along her neck. “Asami? Are you with me?”

She looked up into green. Green piercing the blue that was drowning her. “Kuvira?” Asami blinked, confused. “When did-”

“I was on my way down. You skipped dinner again.” Kuvira spoke slowly, her focus never wavering from Asami.

“Dinner?” Asami could feel her head clearing. The room slowly came into focus. Her father was kneeling in front of her, brow furrowed in concern. She was suddenly very aware that Kuvira had pulled her into her lap.

“Dinner, that you did not eat again,” Kuvira repeated. Asami felt Kuvira’s hands moving along her back again, slow rhythmic strokes. The pressure around her lungs loosened.

“Dinner. Right.” Asami let out a shaky breath.

“Which is why you nearly fainted.” Kuvira gave Asami a pointed look. Asami glanced at her father and offered him a sheepish smile. He shook his head.

“You take too much after me.” He stood and stretched out his back. “Kuvira get this stubborn fool to eat something. If you have to, metalbend the spoon down her throat.”

Kuvira’s lips twitched. “Yes sir.” She turned back to Asami and leaned in close. “Can you stand?” Kuvira’s lips ghosted her neck as she spoke, making her shiver. Asami caught the subtle perfume of Kuvira’s hair and took a deep breath. It smelled of jasmine, and wet soil after a heavy rain. She held the breath for a moment, unwilling to let it go from her, wanting to hold it inside of her, to carry that piece of Kuvira with her as a reminder of this moment. Finally she exhaled.

“I can stand,” she whispered back. Kuvira nodded and they carefully disentangled. Kuvira held out a hand and Asami took it grateful for the help. Kuvira gestured to a tray set on a nearby table.

“Would you like to eat here? Or somewhere more comfortable?” She waited for an answer, like she always did, straight backed, hands clasped behind her. _Ever the commander._

“Let’s go back to my room.” Kuvira’s eyebrows rose in surprise. _Poor word choice Asami._ “S-so I can lay down after I mean. I’m very tired.”

“Have you been sleeping?” Hiroshi asked.

“You know how I get, dad.” Asami knew Kuvira was not so easily placated, but her father chuckled and nodded. Kuvira grabbed the tray with one hand and the other found its way to Asami’s elbow, gently guiding her through the compound. Even though Asami knew the way, it was nice to have a guide. She didn’t want to think about anything at the moment. She was exhausted. Kuvira moved her hand for just a moment. A flick of the wrist and the door to Asami’s room opened. Then her hand returned to the same place, just above her elbow. Asami fell rather ungracefully into the closest chair. Kuvira set the tray down on the armrest and the metal fold up chair slid across the room to catch Kuvira as she sat opposite Asami. She looked pointedly at the tray and Asami sighed and lifted the lid.

“Thank you for all this, but you really didn’t have to go to all the trouble.” Asami took the bowl of noodles and began to eat.

“It would appear that I did.” Kuvira crossed one leg over the other and studied Asami while she ate. It was a little unnerving. It would have been intimidating if it weren’t for the sheer amount of time she had been spending with Kuvira of late. Her eyes seemed to follow Asami’s every movement as she twirled the noodles around the chopsticks and brought them to her lips. Briefly she wondered if Kuvira only wanted to be certain she was eating, or if she was fixated on her lips. _Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve caught her staring._

“What happened?” Kuvira asked. “It’s been a long time since…since you’ve had a reaction like that.”

Asami forced herself to finish the bowl of noodles even though she wasn’t actually hungry. “I slipped up. I haven’t been sleeping well, and with the near miss today…I think I just pushed myself too far.”

“Asami.” Kuvira placed a hand on Asami’s knee. “Your father is going to figure out what’s wrong sooner or later.” She hesitated a moment before continuing. “You know I can help.”

Asami sighed deeply and closed her eyes. She tried to remember how everything with Kuvira had gotten so complicated. They had met while Asami was working on the railway project with Varrick, Zhu Li and Bataar Jr. Kuvira was inquisitive about the engineering. She worked to integrate bending and innovation. The resulting friendship helped fill the void that _she_ had left. Mako was busy with Prince Wu, Bolin had his career and Asami always had her work, but she had missed having someone to talk with.

That was when Su sent word. She had taken over as head of the Earth Kingdom until Prince Wu was ready to return, and rumors had been circulating. _She_ was in the Earth Kingdom and something was wrong. _She_ wasn’t acting like herself. The battle with Zaheer had been hard on her and Tonraq’s death broke her. Asami knew that _she_ had been hurting, she still had the letter to prove it. But she had thought that _she_ had been starting to mend, to make progress. No one knew she was there and just as suddenly she vanished. Lost to the spirit vines. Lost to everyone. That was when it all started. That was when she slowly slipped away from Asami and became ‘it.’

Kuvira had been there. She had been there when Asami fell to pieces. She had been there even when she herself was struggling with loss. They had clung to one another in the storm that swept through Republic City. _Was it always something more than friendship? Or did we just gravitate there somehow?_ She opened her eyes. Kuvira was still watching her. Green. Green that was so much like her own and yet so very different. They often reminded her of olives in a martini glass, or the underside of summer leaves. It was something most people didn’t bother to notice, but still beautiful. That stare that frightened the troops when she barked orders, that could bring bandits to their knees, was always so soft when she looked at Asami. Her gaze was questioning now and Asami realized she had been staring.

“Asami?” Kuvira squeezed her knee. Her hand hadn’t moved in the moments that passed. She glanced down at the warm touch. She hadn’t flinched away and that surprised her. In truth, the warmth felt good when she had felt surrounded by ice for so long. _Ice like glaciers._ She forced the thought away.

“Would you…stay with me?” Asami asked. She was almost appalled at how meek the words sounded in the empty room.

“Of course,” Kuvira murmured. “I’ll grab my things.” She stood, but hesitated. “Unless you’d rather me not. I don’t want to leave you alone, even for a moment, if-”

Asami help up a hand. “No, please, I want you to be comfortable.”

Kuvira nodded toward the small bathroom in the corner. “You should shower while you wait.”

“I will.” When Kuvira turned to go she spoke again. “And thank you…for staying.”

Asami almost missed the quiet reply. “Anything you need, Asami.” She left, closing the door firmly behind her. Asami let out a breath and felt her shoulders ease a little. She hadn’t realized how tense she’d been when asking Kuvira to stay, mostly because she wasn’t entirely certain of what she wanted the answer to be.

Asami shrugged out of her jacket and hung it on a peg by the door. She took her nightgown and a fresh pair of underwear from the top drawer of her dresser. Then, she folded the clothes neatly on the small countertop by the sink. She glanced at the shower stall’s frosted glass and felt a tinge of longing for her mansion and the enormous bathtub she’d had.

Reluctantly she stepped into the shower and pulled the door close behind her. She adjusted the knobs, mindful that a notch too far would scald her, and a notch too short would be like ice. When she finally managed a respectable temperature, she washed herself. The movements were mechanical. She did not linger and enjoy, it was simply a task she had done hundreds of times before and her body remembered it, even if her mind did not.

The sound of the door brought her out of her trance and she realized she’d nearly completed her shower. She couldn’t recall making the movements, but she must have for she could see the last of the soapy residue sliding from her skin and disappearing down the drain.

“I’m almost done,” she calls over the rushing water.

“Don’t worry, I won’t look,” Kuvira responded.

 _You sure look enough when I’m clothed._ Asami felt a grin start to form on her lips, but it couldn’t quite become a smile. She opened the door and took the towel from the nearby rack. Kuvira had stretched out on the bed in a white tank top and dark green sweat pants. Her hair was no longer in her trademark bun, and fell loosely across her shoulders. She seemed to be intently reading a book.

“What are you reading?” Asami asked as she started to dry off.

“Battle tactics from the Hundred Year War.”

Asami hummed thoughtfully as she toweled her hair dry. “No, I don’t think you are.”

Kuvira arched a brow but didn’t change her gaze. “What do you think I’m doing, then?”

Asami hesitated before replying. _Should I?_ The opportunity was too good to ignore. “Trying not to imagine me naked.” The confidence of her old self, for the moment, seemed to return to her. This was a dance she remembered the steps to.

A faint blush colored Kuvira’s cheeks. “I am not.”

This time Asami did smile. “You are now.”

“Asami…” There was a warning tone in Kuvira’s voice.

Asami stepped into her nightgown and walked toward the bed. “You can look now, and I’ll stop teasing you.”

Kuvira looked up from the book. _Green._ “It’s nice, you know.”

“Nice?” Asami pulled back the covers and sat down on the bed.

Kuvira put her book aside. “To make you smile. Even if it was only a small one.”

Asami lay her hand close to Kuvira’s, just shy of touching. “I thought you weren’t looking.”

“I wasn’t.” Kuvira glanced down at Asami’s hand. “I could hear it in your voice.”

Asami didn’t have a response to that, but she wasn’t sure it needed one. Her eyes were drawn back to their hands. Asami swore she could feel the warmth of Kuvira’s skin even without taking the hand in hers.

“Asami.” Kuvira said her name softly. It was one of the few things about Kuvira that made Asami think of softness, of the gentle strength that she work so hard to hide behind her steel.

Asami’s hand felt like it burned. She wanted to touch Kuvira’s hand, to run her fingers along the strong muscular arm and feel a shudder ripple through her body. “Kuvira,” Asami began. “All I know right now is that having you here makes it better somehow.” She gave into the temptation and let her fingers brush across the back of Kuvira’s hand. “I don’t know what that means,” she continued. “And I don’t know what I want down the road, but honestly I don’t know if we’re going to live that long, so what does it matter anyway?”

Kuvira turned her hand so that her palm slipped into Asami’s, her thumb traced along her knuckles. The sensation flowed through her body like alcohol, making her feel warm and a little dizzy. “If you need anything…” she echoed her words from earlier.

Asami shifted closer and Kuvira lifted her arm. Asami eased against Kuvira’s side and tucked her head against her shoulder. Kuvira pulled her close and rested her head against Asami’s. They each took a corner of the comforter and tugged it up to cover them. They spent a few moments getting comfortable, Asami nestling closer and Kuvira brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Asami focused on the heartbeat thudding beneath her ear. The sure, steady rhythm gradually pulled the tension from her body. She let herself melt against Kuvira. Her eyes fluttered close. In a last moment of consciousness she mumbled something that sounded like, “the light.” She felt Kuvira briefly press her lips to Asami’s forehead, and then with a subtle movement from Kuvira’s hand, the light flickered off.


	3. Chapter 3

Asami woke to an unfamiliar sound. She could hear breathing, other than her own. Someone was in her room. The thought sent a spike of fear through her. Slowly she opened her eyes. In the small open space of her quarters Kuvira was lying on the floor steadily doing crunches. _Kuvira, of course._ Memories from the previous night trickled back to her. Part of her knew she should say something, at least to let Kuvira know she was awake, but mostly she was content to watch for a while. Each time Kuvira pulled herself up her lips moved as she silently counted each rep. _I wonder what number she’s on._ That was the rationalization Asami gave herself for staring at Kuvira’s lips. Though, her lips were perhaps the safest thing for her to focus on. If she let her eyes wander any lower…

 “Good morning.” Kuvira did not even break her rhythm as she spoke.

 Asami could feel the blush spread across her cheeks. “Good morning.” She watched as Kuvira continued her work out. She spared a glance at the small clock on the side table. _Just a little after six. We have time._ “You know, you’re better than any alarm clock.”

 Kuvira stopped moving and glanced at Asami. “I’ve been told that before.”

Unbidden Asami recalled the other nights, much like this one, where Kuvira had come to her aid. For a long time it had seemed that every day was a fight to keep from drowning. Stupid, simple things would send her into a panic. Just the color blue would summon tears to her eyes. Kuvira was the one that held her, that whispered to her softly until the words got through. The only time she’d ever seen her falter was when Bataar Jr. and Zhu Li were lost during the lab accident. It hadn’t really been anyone’s fault, no one could have guessed the magnitude of power the spirit vines were capable of. They were fortunate that more weren’t killed.

Kuvira didn’t crumble like Asami had. She unraveled. Layer by layer Kuvira wore away until she no longer resembled the calm collected leader Asami had come to rely on. She had found Kuvira in her room staring at nothing. That was the first time she had held her, instead of the other way around. That morning when she woke, Kuvira had already been dressed and drinking coffee.

_“I didn’t hear the alarm go off.”_

_“It didn’t…doesn’t. I don’t really need one.”_

_“Well, it’s certainly better to wake up to you than an alarm clock anyway.”_

“Asami?” Kuvira grabbed a spare towel and patted at her face.

“Sorry, I was just…remembering.” Asami swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood. “Kuvira?”

“Hmm?” The reply was muffled behind the towel.

“What are we?” Asami frowned at her own wording.

Kuvira tossed the towel into the laundry basket in the corner. “Human.” She raised a brow. “Would you like to be more specific?”

“You and I, what are we?” Asami clarified.

“Friends?” Kuvira offered.

“Is this how friends behave?” She asked the question more to herself than Kuvira.

Kuvira held her stare. “Friends are there for each other, aren’t they, isn’t that what this is?”

 _Is it? Is that all that’s there? No. I refuse to believe that._ “Don’t bullshit me Kuvira.” A shade of anger colored her voice. “Just don’t. I don’t want to play games right now.”

Kuvira seemed to deflate a little. Her shoulders weren’t quite as poker straight. “I’m sorry, I should have worded that better.” Kuvira took a step closer. “What I meant was, I have been trying to be here for you as a friend because I know you can’t…” Kuvira took a breath. “I know I’m too much like her. I know it hurts you, and I don’t want to hurt you, Asami.”

“When the pain is an ocean, what is one more drop of water?” She wanted to take Kuvira’s hand again. It had felt so good to hold her hand.

“Asami, everyone has limits,” Kuvira began. “You know too well that one drop of water could upset the balance and make everything spill over.”

“And you’re afraid that you’ll do that? That you’ll send me spiraling again?” Asami was fixated on how close they were standing. It would only take one more step to be in her arms again. She watched the rise and fall of Kuvira’s chest, noticing that it was much faster than normal. She wasn’t sure if it was from the morning exercise or from Asami’s proximity.

“I saw what losing her did to you, and like you said, neither of us know how much longer we have –”

“Kuvira –”

A knock interrupted them. They both glanced at the interruption but neither moved.

“Asami? Your father said he needs to show you something in the lab.” Bolin called from the other side of the door. “Are you awake?”

Asami sighed. “Yes Bolin, I’m awake, tell him I’ll be there after I get dressed.” Kuvira shot her a stern look. “And after I’ve had breakfast,” Asami amended.

“I’ll let him know!” he shouted back. Asami waited until she could no longer hear his footsteps before meeting Kuvira’s eyes again.

“I should go get dressed,” Kuvira said. She started towards the door. Asami reached out and grabbed Kuvira’s wrist. She half turned and Asami would give nearly anything to undo the pain she saw just beneath the surface of Kuvira’s expression.

“Will you come back tonight?” Asami asked. The rational parts of her brain knew that this was a terrible idea. Both of them were still recovering from loss and the best option would be to try to put a stop to whatever this thing between them was. But she couldn’t bring herself to. Kuvira was the one person who had been able to make it somewhat better. She had to believe it was more than her resemblance to Korra. She had to believe that there was something there, and that Kuvira felt it too.

Kuvira stepped closer to Asami, and gently cupped her cheek. “Anything you need.”  
Asami shook her head slowly. “I have to know that you need this too.” Kuvira’s thumb brushed over Asami’s lower lip, making her heart stutter.

“When Bataar died…I could feel myself slipping away.” Her eyes glazed as memories of the past clouded them. “I didn’t want to care about anything. It felt like everything I touched fell apart. I had tried to save Tonraq, to save k-the avatar, to save my people and I couldn’t manage any of that. I thought I was worthless.” Kuvira took another small step. “Do you remember what you told me?”

Asami vividly recalled that night, but couldn’t voice the words. Only inches separated them now, and Kuvira’s thumb still traced across her cheek.

Kuvira continued. “You told me that I reminded you so much of her. You told me I was brave, determined, and kind. You said that I might be broken, and sometimes broken things can’t be fixed, but they can become something new.” Kuvira’s hand slid from Asami’s cheek around to the back of her neck. Asami registered the warmth of Kuvira’s shoulders before she realized she had placed her hands there. “I think…no, I know, that was when I realized…”

Their noses were nearly touching now. Asami could feel Kuvira’s soft breath spill across her cheek. A small gasp escaped her when Kuvira’s other hand moved to her hip. She wasn’t sure how long that moment lasted, both of them standing there breathing each other’s air, standing in each other’s space. Her mind had sputtered and stalled out. She couldn’t think of anything to say. _There isn’t anything left to say._  She let herself lean forward, closing the distance. Her lips brushed across Kuvira’s and she heard her breath hitch. It was tentative, and too brief, but she wanted to give Kuvira the chance to change her mind.

The grip on the back of her neck tightened and pulled her more firmly into the kiss. She took a step forward, their bodies now flush. She moaned against Kuvira’s lips. It had been so long since anyone had held her like this, since anyone had kissed her like this. Asami’s hand had found its way into Kuvira’s hair and she deepened the embrace, earning her a whimper from Kuvira.

A sharp ringing sound shattered the moment. _Damn it all, my alarm._ Asami pulled away just enough to speak. “It’s six thirty.”

Kuvira was panting lightly. “I should go see to the new troops.”

Asami nodded. “I need to go talk to my father.” But neither of them moved. “Promise me you’ll come back tonight? We’ll…talk.” _Talking? Is that what I wanted to say?_ But she knew they would need to. If they weren’t careful they could both be lost.

A smile curled Kuvira’s lips. “Talk, of course.”

The alarm was finally annoying enough for her to leave Kuvira’s embrace and silence it. Kuvira met her eyes from across the room and Asami wanted nothing more than to ignore the hundreds of things she had planned for today. She moved forward, only to halt when Kuvira held up a hand. “No, if you come over here I’m not going to leave.”

“You’re right.” She took a deep breath and tried to make her heart slow down. Her entire body was still burning from the kiss they’d shared. “I’ll see you for hand-to-hand combat later?”

Kuvira nodded. “And Asami, I promise I’ll be back tonight.” Kuvira left, with one last glance at Asami. For a moment Asami stood motionless in the middle of her room. Her mind was having problems processing what had just happened.

Mechanically she went through her morning routine. She changed into her pants and shirt, brushed her hair and brushed her teeth. Asami grabbed her coat from the rack by the door and a small piece of paper fluttered out from the pocket.

She froze. _The letter._ She had held onto it as a reminder of how things used to be. It was the only thing of hers she had left. With shaking hands she picked the letter up from where it had fallen. The corners were curled from the time spent in Asami’s jacket pocket and the folds were worn thin from too much handling. Carefully she unfolded it to reveal the messy scrawl that was starting to fade. She didn’t need to read the words. She had long ago memorized everything the letter said. After all it wasn’t very long. But her eyes still traced over every character, noticing the places where the ink pooled as if the writer paused to think before continuing on. She blinked back the tears that threatened and vowed, not for the first time, to throw the letter away. Instead she carefully folded it back along the creases and slipped it into her breast pocket.She checked to make sure her make up hadn’t smeared, and then left her room. _I’ll see what my father wants, and then maybe pay Jinora a visit._ If anyone could help her make sense of this mess, it would be her.

***

 

The second Asami stepped into the lab she wished she hadn’t. Varrick and her father were in the middle of one of their heated discussions and she did not want to be the tie-breaker in whatever argument Varrick had baited her father into.

“No, no, no!” Varrick shook his head. “Look I’m not arguing that you need _some_ math and science in order to be a good engineer, but creativity is more important!”

Hiroshi sighed. “Without the fundamentals as basics –“

Varrick threw his hands in the air. “That limits your potential! You have to be able to think of things no one else will! Don’t think outside the box, destroy the box! Heck, _ignore_ the box! There is no box!”

“Father, you wanted to see me?” Asami interrupted.

“Asami!” Varrick rounded on her. “Which do you think is most important to engineering?”

“Father?” Asami pointedly ignored Varrick.

“We’ve discovered a way to harness the spirit vine energy safely,” Hiroshi explained. “We’re going to need a method to carry it, and to aim it.”

“The energy cuts through pretty much everything doesn’t it?”

“It does…” Hiroshi stroked his chin. “Maybe if we found a way to lessen the output to a more manageable –”

Asami shook her head. “We’re going to need all the fire power we can get.” She paused as her mind worked through the problem. “I suppose we could make it more of a bomb than a directional weapon.”

Hiroshi frowned. “I don’t like that option. There’s no guarantee that the team deploying it would be able to get out in time. And besides, it moves so quickly that we might not even succeed. Unless you want to bomb the entire city.”

Asami took a breath. “We could lure it with–”

He grabbed her shoulders. “I am not letting you throw your life away.” His voice was tight with emotion. “I won’t lose you, too.”

Asami clenched her fists. She just wanted this whole thing to be over. “What other option do we have? It cuts through mountains father. We haven’t found a material yet that can stand up to it.”

“Platinum.” They both turned to look at Varrick. He stared at something in the palm of his hand. “We can use platinum.”

“What?” Hiroshi peered over at Varrick’s hand. He turned his hand so that they could see what he was holding. A small, metallic ring lay on his palm. _Zhu Li’s ring._

“It was all they found.” For once Varrick was still, and quiet. The combination unnerved her. “It survived the blast. We should be able to make a barrel out of platinum. It’ll have to be pretty large, though. A cannon, maybe.”

The idea of wheeling a cannon through the ruins of Republic City did not appeal to her in the slightest. “Do you think we can make it smaller than that?”

Hiroshi scratched his beard. “Smaller means less powerful.”

Asami nodded. “I know, but I’m thinking of mobility here. How are we going to move this across the city without it killing us?”          

“I’ve got it!” Varrick slammed his hand down on the table. “What if we build a giant robot, one that can walk, and we can put the cannon on its arm and–” He kept talking as he ran around the lab pantomiming the robot’s actions.

While Asami was glad that Varrick sounded more like his normal self, ridiculous ideas weren’t going to get them anywhere. “Varrick, we don’t have enough platinum for something like that, and if we make it out of anything else, it would tear it to pieces in seconds.”

“Asami’s right,” Hiroshi agreed. “We need something small. Some kind of handheld device.”

Asami pulled out a blank piece of paper and started to sketch. _It’s going to have to house the spirit vine capsule and direct the energy. Perhaps a barrel? Direct its flow like a pipe would direct water. There will need to be a way to fire it. Buttons could be accidentally pressed, so…trigger mechanism? The load-in should be from the side, or possibly bottom to make it easy to reload._ Her hand moved quickly as her sketch began to take form.

“We’re going to have to figure out how to reduce the size of the vine capsule,” Varrick said as he looked over her plans.

“Varrick and I will start working on that, if you’d like to start working on the firing mechanism for the weapon,” Hiroshi said. Asami nodded but didn’t look up from her drawing. If she stopped to think too long, memories from earlier that morning threatened to consume her. She worked relentlessly on the design to keep from playing the thoughts over and over. Panic was still lingered, but she managed to keep it under control. Hours later, she glanced at the clock. _If I want to talk to Jinora, I’ll have to leave now._ She said goodbye to Varrick and her father and headed through the compound to Jinora’s room.

 

***

 

The guards outside of Jinora’s room let her inside. The airbender sat on her bed in the lotus position, deep in a trance. Asami frowned. She had hoped to be able to speak to her, but it would have to wait until Jinora returned from whatever she was doing. Asami sat down in a chair in the corner of the room. Without her work to distract her, Asami found herself thinking about Kuvira. Objectively speaking, she knew that Kuvira was attractive, and they had comforted each other in the past. Granted, the comforting only went as far as cuddling and talking, but they undoubtedly had a connection.

But Asami felt guilty. There was a part of her that was unwilling to believe that _she_ was gone. The fact that it seemed to be drawn to her every time she went out of the compound walls felt like some kind of cry for help from whatever human part was left. The letter in her breast pocket felt heavy. Asami remembered when _she_ had finally returned. Everyone knew something was wrong, but they had all just assumed it was because of what Zaheer did to her. Asami was the only one she had confided in. She spoke of some kind of evil spirit that pursued her, she had said that sometimes she couldn’t remember long stretches of time. She would wake up miles from where she last was, with no memory of how she got there.

The first time Asami had witnessed it, she was terrified. It was a memory that still haunted her. The Avatar State was supposed to be used to protect people, but now it was the embodiment of destruction. She had tried to get Asami to leave the room, but she hadn’t wanted to leave her. Then the room was torn apart as the Avatar State took over. Wind whipped around, turning over the tables and chairs. The white, unblinking eyes seemed to bore into her soul. In that moment, she knew that whatever was before her wasn’t her. She had tried to get close enough to incapacitate it with her glove, but she wasn’t able to.

She finally returned to normal hours later, but it kept happening. The time she was stuck in the Avatar State kept increasing until she didn’t come out of it at all. They had tried locking her up, but nothing would hold her. _If only I could have stopped her before it took over completely._ At first they thought that they could wait it out and that exhaustion would overcome her, but it was almost a year later now, and she was still out there. _After all, Aang was in the Avatar State for one hundred years._ That thought chilled her. If their plans all failed, who would be left to stop her?

Was it fair for her to find comfort in Kuvira when she still harbored feelings for what _she_ was before? _That person is dead._ That was what Asami told herself, but saying it and believing it were two entirely different things.

Jinora’s eyes fluttered open and she turned to look at Asami. “Did you have a mission for me?”

Asami shook her head. “No, I just…I needed someone to talk to.”

“Is everything alright?” Jinora asked. She uncrossed her legs and swung them over the side of the bed.

Asami took a breath. “Things have gotten complicated.” _That’s an understatement._

Jinora cocked her head to the side. “Complicated?”

 _I suppose direct is the best way to approach this. Just get it over with, like ripping off a bandage._ “I kissed Kuvira this morning.” Asami hesitated. “After she spent the night holding me.”

Jinora’s brow furrowed. “How do you feel about that?” One of the things Asami had always loved about Jinora was how accepting she was. She was concerned for Asami’s well being, instead of judging her for her decision. 

Asami paused a moment as she tried to come up with a word that encapsulated her feelings. “Confused.”

Jinora offered a small smile. “Okay, let’s start with something simpler. Did you enjoy kissing her?”

Asami didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

Jinora chuckled. “Well, that’s good.” Her expression grew more serious. “Do you regret it?”

That one Asami had to think about. It had been impulsive, true, but if she had the chance to go back and do the morning over again, there wasn’t anything she would change. _Well, except maybe make sure the alarm was off before kissing her._ “No, I don’t regret it.”

Jinora nodded. “But you’re confused, so what else are you feeling?”

Asami nervously fidgeted with the lapel on her coat. “Guilty…and scared.”

“Guilty about what?” Jinora folded her hands in her lap and waited.

“This is going to sound stupid.” Asami ran a hand through her hair. “Kuvira…reminds me a lot of…”

“Her,” Jinora supplied.

Asami nodded. “Yes. I mean, they’re the same height, same build, and sometimes Kuvira’s personality reminds me of her. Kuvira has a strong desire to protect people, sometimes at her own expense. She’s cocky, and stubborn, but also kind.” Asami sighed. “I don’t know if I’m feeling this way because I’m trying to…”

“Replace her?” Jinora nodded again. “I can understand that. Is that why you’re afraid?”

“No…I…” This was the hardest part. The words stuck in her throat. Jinora moved to Asami’s side and placed a hand on her shoulder, silently encouraging her to continue. “I don’t want to get too attached in case…”

“She doesn’t come back?” Jinora whispered.

Asami nodded. She didn’t cope well with watching _her_ slowly slip away. The thought of losing Kuvira terrified her.

“It’s a possibility,” Jinora said. “Every time I wrote a letter to Kai, I wasn’t sure if it would be my last. Now that he’s here, I worry that he’ll end up like most of our other scouting parties.”

“How do you cope with that?”

“I trust him. I know that he’ll do everything in his power to return to me, but I accept the fact that it might not be enough. If that day comes, I’ll grieve, but I won’t let what might happen ruin what time we have left together.”

“You’re right,” Asami sighed. “Thank you, Jinora.”

 Jinora smiled. “Anytime Asami.”

“I’d better go. I need to lead the class on hand-to-hand combat.” She gave Jinora a hug and then left the room.


	4. Chapter 4

“Again,” Asami commanded. The young airbender advanced across the room. He sent a blast of air, and Asami dodged out of the way. She rushed forward and with a few quick strikes the airbender dropped to the mat. The chi blocking techniques that she had picked up were something most benders never bothered to learn. But it was her experience that the lack of knowledge left them vulnerable to it. Her job was to train them how to use chi blocking, and how to defend against it. She knelt down by the boy. “It’ll wear off in a little while.” She helped him to his feet and guided him over to the bench along the side of the room. Throughout the whole lesson, she was very aware of Kuvira watching her. It felt different than other training sessions. Perhaps it was because of the emotions Kuvira had set free with that kiss.

“Why don’t we give them a proper demonstration, Sato?” Kuvira said.

Asami turned to her with surprise. “What do you mean? You want to spar with me?” They had mostly avoided sparring with each other. It was better to divide their attention between the class so that they could instruct better. At least, that was the rationalization that Asami usually gave. Mostly it was because she didn’t trust herself to have her hands on Kuvira.

“Are you worried you can’t take me?” Kuvira asked.

 _Oh I can take you alright…_ “Just didn’t want to embarrass you in front of the trainees.” She smirked. She walked over to where she had placed her glove. “I assume you’ll be bending so I hope you’ll be willing to let me have my glove?”

“Be my guest,” Kuvira said. “I wouldn’t want you to go easy on me.”

Asami slipped it on and wiggled her fingers until it fit to her liking. The platinum plating had meant an increase in weight, but the benefits more than outweighed the drawback. Kuvira smiled and cracked her knuckles. The new recruits backed away to give them plenty of room. Kuvira moved to one side, and Asami stood at the other. Kuvira took her stance and gave Asami a cocky smirk. Asami pushed down the flutter in her stomach and focused on the battle ahead.

“Looks like you’ve made some adjustments to your glove,” Kuvira said.

“Well I wouldn’t want you to bend it off my hand.” Asami took her stance as well. Kuvira struck out, sending a small strip of metal towards Asami. She turned to the side, dodging the attack. She ran towards Kuvira only to be stopped by a wall of stone. She vaulted over the stone and brought her leg down towards Kuvira’s head. Kuvira blocked and wrapped a metal strip around her leg. Asami found herself being tossed backward by the metal. She fell down hard on the mats. Asami glanced up in time to see another strip of metal heading her away. She rolled to the side and ran toward Kuvira again, dodging a barrage of metal. She felt the stone under her feet shift, so she kicked her leg out into a cartwheel. She backed off and took a moment to catch her breath. She noticed with no small amount of satisfaction that Kuvira was also starting to pant a little.

It felt good to exert herself. The back and forth of the fight helped calm her internal storm. She was lost in the battle, her mind seeking out vulnerabilities and thinking of ways to exploit them. Kuvira knew that if Asami got in close, it was over, and seemed to doing her best to keep Asami at a distance. She lost herself to the fight. She focused on nothing but defeating her opponent and let everything else fall away.

The rocks and metal continued to fly at her, but Asami bided her time, and then found her moment. She ducked under one of Kuvira’s attacks and made her way closer until she was able to land a series of blows on Kuvira’s arm. It fell limply at her side.

Her small victory was short lived as Kuvira swept her leg. Asami rolled with the blow and got back to her feet, advancing again, this time taking out her other arm. Finally she leapt, wrapping her legs around Kuvira’s middle and using her weight to throw her down onto the mat, landing her gloved hand on Kuvira’s chest as she did so. Sparks flew as the electricity jumped across Kuvira’s skin. It took her a moment to realize what she had done. In a panic she threw off her glove and scrambled to the unmoving form of Kuvira.

“Kuvira?” _Spirits no! What did I do?_ She turned to Kai. “Go get Kya!” Kai took off running.  She pressed her fingers against Kuvira’s neck. The tightness in her chest loosened a little when she picked up a pulse. “Kuvira?” she called again. The moments ticked by. She wished there was something else she could do. _Korra lying still in her arms. Poison in her veins. Her eyes closed, her body still._ “No…Kuvira please…” Panic threatened to overtake her. She registered the sound of footsteps somewhere in the back of her mind.

“Asami, let me look at her.” Kya’s hand gently pressed against her, urging her to move aside. She shifted enough to let Kya get close. Kya closed her eyes and drew a stream of water from her flask, letting the current flow over Kuvira’s body. A few moments later, Kuvira’s eyes fluttered open. She groaned and sat up.

Asami felt tears crawl down her face. “You’re okay.”

Kuvira winced when she tried to lift her arm. “My pride is a little wounded. I think that’s enough for today, though.”

Asami turned to the class. “Alright, everyone is dismissed.” She leaned closer to Kuvira. “Do you want me to take you to your room?”

“Only if you’ll stay there with me,” Kuvira replied softly.

Asami felt her face go flush with heat. “Alright.” She and Kya helped Kuvira to her feet. Once she was standing, they helped her through the compound to her room. Asami thanked Kya repeatedly before the waterbender left them. She closed the door as politely as she could before turning to see Kuvira. She sat on the bed, her eyes fixed on Asami.

Kuvira chuckled and pulled off her gloves, tossing them to the bedside table. “To be fair, I did ask that you not go easy on me.”

“Don’t laugh.” Asami crossed her arms and took a deep breath. “Don’t you dare. I could have killed you.”

Kuvira shook her head. “The charge wasn’t strong enough to kill me.” She pulled off her boots and tucked them under the bed.

“No?” Asami walked over to Kuvira and jabbed a finger against her metal embellishments on her outfit. “And what does metal do with electricity?”

Kuvira was quiet for a moment. “Conducts it.”

Her finger traced along the overlapping plates of metal absently. “I could have stopped your heart.”

She caught Asami’s hand and toyed with her fingers. “You don’t need the glove for that,” Kuvira murmured.

Asami’s breath caught. “Kuvira…we can’t, we need to talk about this–”

“I know.” Kuvira looked up at Asami. “I’m sorry about today. It was stupid to suggest the sparring match.”

“Why did you?” Asami asked.

Kuvira brought Asami’s hand to her lips and kissed it gently. “You seem more relaxed when you fight, I thought it might help you.”

Asami sighed. “It did, up until I thought I’d killed you.”

Kuvira raised a brow. “It takes more than that.” She tugged on Asami’s hand, and Asami let the momentum carry her forward until she stood between Kuvira’s legs. Her hands landed on Kuvira’s shoulders, the cool metal doing little to help her overheated body. She closed her eyes when she felt Kuvira’s touch on her hips. “You wanted to talk?” Kuvira murmured.

“We really should,” Asami replied. Though, she was having trouble remembering why. Kuvira’s hands slid a little higher, tracing up and down her sides. “Kuvira…” The name sounded less like a plea to stop, and more like gasp of pleasure.

“Hm?” she asked.

Somehow, Asami found the strength to move her hands from Kuvira’s shoulders and halt her movements. “Please, I need to talk this through.”

Kuvira nodded and slid over on the bed to allow Asami a place to sit. She sat and stared at her hands for a moment before speaking. “My feelings right now are…confusing.” She met Kuvira’s eyes. “I can’t deny we have…some kind of chemistry, but there’s a part of me that is still holding out hope that she’s still in there somewhere, that I can still reach her.”

“Asami, we’ve tried to contact her, both here and in the spirit world.” Kuvira hesitated before continuing. “People have died trying to get through to her.”

“I know.” Tears burned in her eyes. “Spirits, I know more than most how much we’ve lost. I want to let go, I do, but I don’t think I’m there yet.” She reached over and took Kuvira’s hand. “And that’s not fair to you. No matter how badly I want this, I can’t give you all of me, at least not yet. But I’m trying to work toward that.”

Kuvira looked away and was quiet for a moment. “There is always a part of me that will love Bataar, but he’s dead and I think that makes it a little easier. There’s the certainty of that. But you…you constantly have to fight it. I’m sure that isn’t helping.”

“You help,” Asami admitted. She gave Kuvira’s hand a squeeze.

Kuvira gave a small smile. “What do you want to do?”

Asami traced her fingers along Kuvira’s palm. “Can we take it one step at a time?”  

“Of course.” Kuvira placed her free hand on top of Asami’s, stilling her movements. “But there is a point of clarification that I need.”

Asami tilted her head to the side. “Which is?”

“Does one step at a time mean…we need to take a step back?” Kuvira watched her carefully.

Asami thought back to earlier. _Did all of this happen in one day?_ It seemed like so long ago. Kuvira was giving her the chance to go back to how it had been; subtle flirts, and occasional touches. _Is that what I want? Do I want what we had before?_ She stared into the deep green pools of Kuvira’s eyes. She could see the desire written there, restrained but simmering under the surface. She wanted that, she _needed_ that.

“No,” she whispered. She reached out and cupped Kuvira’s cheek. “I don’t want to go back.” Asami leaned forward and kissed her slowly. Kuvira sighed and relaxed into Asami’s touch. Her hand wound through Asami’s hair as she deepened the kiss.

Asami’s body felt as if it might combust. Kuvira kissed her thoroughly, passionately, but still held her gently, as if she were something precious. Eventually, Asami pulled away a little and smiled. “Do you want me to stay here tonight?”

Kuvira tilted her head up and caught Asami’s lips in another kiss. “Yes,” she murmured. “I like falling asleep with you.” Kuvira trailed kisses down Asami’s neck, pausing when she reached her high collared jacket. “I can help you out of that if you’d like.”

“I should get some things from my room.” Those weren’t the words she had meant to say, but it didn’t make them less true. She didn’t have anything to change into and she was not going to be talked into sleeping naked. _Spirits we can barely control ourselves full clothed._ She tried to manage more words, to explain why she’d said that, but when Kuvira’s touch roamed over her body it made speaking nearly impossible. She felt a warm hand at the small of her back, guiding her closer.

“I have some things you can wear if you want.” Kuvira mumbled, her lips pressed just under the shell of Asami’s ear.

Asami shivered and bit back a moan. “That sounds good.” She felt the light scrape of teeth against her neck. “That _feels_ good.” Unable to stand it any more she gripped Kuvira’s chin and tugged her into a more heated kiss. She tugged Kuvira’s lip between her teeth and bit down gently. Kuvira whimpered and pressed against Asami, pushing her onto her back. Asami wrapped her arms around Kuvira’s neck, pulling their bodies close together. Kuvira’s hand moved to the buttons on Asami’s coat, tugging them loose until she had more access to Asami’s neck. She arched into Kuvira’s touch when she felt her fingers skim beneath her undershirt. Suddenly, the movement stopped. Asami opened her eyes to see Kuvira staring down at her, panting.

“I’m sorry…you said slow…this isn’t slow,” she managed between breaths. Kuvira nearly flung herself off of Asami and lay on her back with an arm covering her eyes. “I don’t…I’m normally…” Her free hand punched a pillow. “I’m usually in more control than that.”

Asami let her jacket fall completely off of her shoulders and drop to the floor. She kicked off her shoes and socks, and crawled over to Kuvira’s side. “I was always curious how you took this thing off.” Asami tapped on the metal plates on Kuvira’s shoulder.

Kuvira peeked out from under her arm. “What?”

Asami let her finger trail from the plates on Kuvira’s shoulder, up to her collar and begin to move down her chest. “I mean, I assume that there are buttons here…” her fingers carefully started to undo the buttons to her jacket. “But are the metal parts attached or do you bend them off?”

She finished with the buttons and took a moment to look at the woman next to her. Kuvira had dropped her arm and now was lying back with her eyes closed. _She’s so beautiful._ Asami didn’t remove the clothing, but pulled it aside to reveal Kuvira’s tank top.  “You know, I could kiss your neck if you’d help me take this off.”

“Are you sure?” Kuvira’s voice was strained with need.

“I don’t want to torment you. I can’t…I don’t want to go _too_ far.” Asami’s finger traced the scoop of the tank top’s collar. “But I like kissing you, and I like touching you. I’d like to keep doing both, unless it’s too difficult.”

Kuvira propped herself up on her elbows. “The shoulder and collar are attached to the jacket, the belt and arm guards are bent onto me.” She pulled herself into a sitting position and with a sharp movement from both arms, the metal cuffs around her biceps, and her belt, flew into the closet and settled neatly on the top shelf.

Asami smiled. “Let me help with the rest.” She slid her hands under the coat and over Kuvira’s shoulders pushing the coat off. With a few movements, Kuvira sent the uniform to the closet as well, leaving her in her tank top and olive colored pants. “That’s better isn’t it?”

Kuvira stroked up Asami’s forearm, stopping at the edge of her short sleeved shirt and then running back down again. She seemed mesmerized by the movement. “You’re so amazing.” She laced her fingers with Asami’s. “I’m certain you’ve been told that before, but you never cease to surprise and amaze me. It is one of the many things that drew me to you.” Asami smiled and let her hands trace patterns across Kuvira’s chest. “I usually work very hard to keep my world controlled and ordered.” Kuvira continued. “When I’m with you, I feel like I can just…be myself. I don’t have to be a soldier. I just have to be me, and that’s enough.”

Asami shifted so that she was straddling Kuvira. Kuvira’s hands slid up the tops of Asami’s thighs and settled on her hips. “It’s more than enough,” Asami whispered.

She leaned forward and Kuvira closed her eyes, expecting a kiss. Instead Asami moved her lips to Kuvira’s neck, drawing out a small gasp. Kuvira had one hand in Asami’s hair, the other moving over her back. Asami ghosted her fingers under Kuvira’s shirt. She moaned when she lingered over the well-defined muscles of Kuvira’s stomach. _I guess all of those sit ups paid off._ She stopped shy of Kuvira’s breasts, unwilling to cross that threshold yet. Instead she retreated, lightly scratching her nails across her abdomen. Kuvira hissed in pleasure.

“Asami, fuck…” she groaned. Asami could feel Kuvira’s grip on her tighten.

“You like that?” Asami smirked. She repeated the motion, scratching down the other side of Kuvira’s stomach.

“Spirits Asami,” Kuvira panted. “I don’t know how much more of this I can handle.”

“I can stop,” Asami offered.

“I think for tonight we should.” Kuvira cleared her throat. “Otherwise I might forget why we’re stopping.”

Asami carefully removed herself from on top of Kuvira. “I guess I should get ready for bed. What do you have that I can wear?”

Kuvira gestured to the closet. “Whatever you’d like.”

Asami made her way to the closet and looked through Kuvira’s clothes, most of which were uniforms. She pulled out a t-shirt and looked at the front. _What on earth is this?_ She tried to stifle the laughter, but couldn’t. “What exactly is _this?_ ” Asami managed to ask.

Kuvira stood and took the shirt from Asami. She sighed heavily. “Please don’t wear it.” Asami stared at the very stern image of Kuvira that the front of the t-shirt sported. “One of my men found it when we were searching the city for survivors. He gave to me as a joke.”

Asami grinned. “I _am_ going to wear this. If you get any ideas about taking advantage of me, you’ll see yourself staring at you with this expression.”

Kuvira frowned. “You know I would never –“

Asami kissed Kuvira’s cheek. “I’m teasing you.”

Kuvira bit her lip. “Yes…you definitely were.” She took a breath, and a step backward. “But you should go shower.” Asami gave Kuvira one more kiss and then took her shower. She glanced out of the shower door and smiled at Kuvira who was calmly reading her book again. She quickly changed into the t-shirt. It was large, and fell halfway to her knees. She walked over to Kuvira and pulled back the sheets. “You can look,” she said.

Kuvira smiled and closed her book. “Is this going to be a routine for us now?”

Asami felt a flush spread across her face and looked away. She picked at the comforter. “I mean, if you’re worried other’s will find out –”

Kuvira leaned over and kissed her softly. “Screw them,” she mumbled.

Asami gave her a wry smile. “You’d better not. I don’t share.”  

Kuvira laughed and wrapped her arms around Asami pulling her into a tight hug. Kuvira buried her face in Asami’s neck and sighed with contentment. “Goodnight, Asami.”

Asami kissed the top of her head. “Goodnight.”


	5. Chapter 5

The days passed in a blur. When she wasn’t in the lab working on the small-scale spirit cannon she was exploring the new dimensions to her and Kuvira’s relationship. She was certain that people had guessed, or assumed that they were seeing each other, but no one said anything to them directly. It was mostly knowing looks from Bolin and uncomfortable silences around Mako.

When they finally finished the first two prototypes, they realized there was no way to test them within the facility without destroying something. If something went wrong, it could wipe out nearly everyone. The obvious solution was to do the testing outside, but that was easier said than done.

Asami looked at the team in front of her. Bolin, Mako, Kai, Opal, Jinora, Varrick and her father stood around the comm room. “Alright everyone, here’s the situation.” She opened a map of the Republic City. There were lines and notes scrawled all over, indicating where safe passages were located, and its likely hunting grounds. “Team two will be Hiroshi and Varrick, you two will be escorted by Mako, Kai, and Bolin to the outskirts of the city to test fire the new weapon.” They nodded but remained silent. “Team one, Jinora, Opal, Kuvira and I, will be attempting to draw it away from you. We are not going to engage the target unless we are presented with no other option.”

She could see Kuvria’s frown out of the corner of her eye, but pressed on. “Opal and Jinora will be our scouts. If the target does not engage and attempts to pursue team two, Jinora will attempt to contact Kai by sending her spirit. Opal your primary objective is to keep Jinora alive while she meditates. If things go badly, Kuvira and I are expendable. Everyone is clear?” They nodded once again. “Alright we leave in a half an hour, dismissed.” Everyone left the room except Kuvira. Asami waited until Bolin closed the door behind him before speaking.

“I suppose you don’t approve of the plan?”

“It’s a risk.” Kuvira crossed the room and began pacing. “It’s a _stupid_ risk.”

“I think it is a reasonable gamble. It’s not as if we can test fire a spirit cannon inside.” Asami crossed her arms. “We’ve done this dance before, evade and mislead.”

Kuvira threw her hands in the air. “We don’t even know if this will work on her, she’s manipulated spirits before who’s to say she can’t manipulate your gun?”

“We have to try, we can’t just stay down here forever!” Asami shot back. “We’re probably the only people in the world that know her well enough to take her down. Normally this would be a job for the Avatar, but we know that help isn’t coming.”

“So the plan is, let’s hope it doesn’t spot the _civilians_?” Kuvira shot back. “That’s your father, Asami.”

“My father can take care of himself.” Asami braced her hands on the table to keep from making fists. “Give me another plan Kuvira. I’m listening. Tell me another way.”

Kuvira was quiet for a long moment. “Damn you…” she whispered. Asami flinched when she heard the creaking sound of metal compacting. She turned and saw a disfigured folding chair in the corner.

“Kuvira. Please,” Asami whispered.

A moment later Kuvira wrapped her arms around Asami’s waist, pressing her face against her back. “If I asked you not to go, would you? Would you let me go without you?”

“No.” Asami turned in Kuvira’s arms and held her. “I need to do this, and I need you with me.” She hugged her tightly.

Kuvira sighed. “I know. I know you’ve thought this through it’s just…I wish there was another way.”

Asami leaned back and gave Kuvira a gentle kiss. “Me too. But if this works, maybe we are one step closer to putting this all behind us.”

 

***

 

Asami wasn’t certain she would ever get past the heartbreak of seeing her city in ruins. At least when the spirits overtook it, she felt a sense of a new beginning. It had been inspirational to see humans and spirits working together. Now, the desolate city only reminded her of a graveyard haunted by the ghosts of the people who had died there.

Kuvira, Opal, and Asami waited as Jinora sought out its spirit energy. Finally, she opened her eyes. “It’s at Future Industries.”

_Of course it is._ She caught a worried glance from Kuvira, but chose to ignore it. She needed to focus. “Alright, that’s good. It won’t be anywhere close to where team two is located. Kuvira, there will plenty of things for you to bend in there, but remember that is true for it as well.” Kuvira gave a short nod. “Opal, you and Jinora keep watch outside the building. If it starts to leave, contact team two immediately.”

“You’re not going to go in there are you?” Jinora asked.

“Not unless we have to. But the spirit weapon will draw attention. We need to keep it distracted as much as possible. If that means attacking it, then that’s what Kuvira and I are here for.” Asami pulled the equalist mask down over her face and motioned for them all to move out.

They picked their way through the ruins. Spirit vines had overtaken much of the city, making it look more like a jungle. _Though the two are not dissimilar._ The Future Industries building was located downtown and seemed to be where it spent most of its time. The implications of that had kept Asami up many nights. 

Before Katara had passed away, Asami had spoken with her about the situation. Asami brought up the idea of chi blocking it so that maybe she could get through to _her._ Katara explained that in all likelihood, the Avatar State was the only thing still keeping her body alive. If the energy was blocked, she might come to, but the moment would be short-lived. Even knowing that, Asami had pursued that plan, but each time she came within striking distance, she had been unable to deliver the blows. _How many people would still be alive if I had been able to stop her?_ With this new weapon, they should be able to take it down from a distance, and Asami wouldn’t necessarily have to be the one to pull the trigger.

They neared the building and Asami signaled for them to stop. She gestured to Opal and Jinora to take a high vantage point up on the top of a building close by.

“So we wait until they draw its attention? Or do we distract it first?” Kuvira asked.

“It depends on where it is,” Asami whispered. “I really don’t want to fight it in an enclosed space.” She studied their surroundings. “If we can draw it out and into the plaza, we’d have more room, but it will have a fountain to bend.” She pointed to the stone structure in the center. “Which is not ideal.”

“I can try to drain it.” Kuvira offered. “If I can manipulate the pipes underground the water should leak out.”

Asami wished she could see Kuvira’s eyes through the built-in goggles. “It will sense that.”

“I know.” Kuvira’s hand found hers. “But you said you wanted to draw it out. I don’t know of a better way. I mean, we can always just start shouting and throwing rocks at it, but at least this way we remove a tactical advantage.”

Asami squeezed Kuvira’s hand. “Be careful.”

Kuvira nodded and then took off running for the fountain. Asami watched the entrance to the building for any sign of movement. Kuvira moved quickly and Asami could see the concrete beneath her start to shift and crumble. The water from the fountain lowered, presumably draining into the sewers. As the rumble from Kuvira’s earth and metal bending subsided, Asami heard another sound. The soft jingle of chains was punctuated with scraping metal against stone. Her heart leapt in her throat. _Get out of there, Kuvira. Get back to cover. What are you doing? Why are you just standing there?_ Slowly, she saw it emerge from the building. The white eyes fixed on Kuvira.

Kuvira took her stance and turned to face it. It tilted its head to the side and slowly moved its gaze from Kuvira to Asami. It rushed past Kuvira and headed straight toward her. Asami tensed and waited for her opportunity to strike. A wall of stone shot up under it and it used the momentum to carry it up into the air, turning and lashing out at Kuvira with a blast of fire. Kuvira rolled to the side and retaliated with a rock thrown at it. It leaned out of the way and darted toward Asami again, sending rocks with a series of quick punches. Asami managed to dodge each of the attacks and tried to back away, but it advanced against. Kuvira twisted the earth underneath its feet, turning it so that it faced her. It picked her up with a gust of wind and threw her against one of the buildings.

Asami ran to try to intercept, but it was faster. It wrapped its chain around Kuvira and slung her to the other side of the plaza. Then it rounded on Asami again. She lashed out with punches and kicks, but no matter how hard she tried, she wasn’t able to land a blow. A blast of air knocked her backward. She scrambled to get to her feet but it was too late. It was right in front of her, hands moving in a swirling motion. She felt herself being lifted off the ground. She struggled against the vortex, but couldn’t break free. She felt the air move up her body to her face.

She couldn’t breathe. Her lungs worked, trying to intake oxygen, but there wasn’t any there. Asami’s mouth hung open in a wordless cry as stars began to dance in front of her eyes. Her face and hands felt numb, her chest burned. All she could see was the unblinking stare of the thing in front of her. The ghost of someone she had once loved. _Is this how it ends?_ The world was starting to fade, and Asami stopped struggling. A loud sound, a ringing buzz echoed in her mind as if it were underwater, but Asami didn’t have the strength to care. Finally her world was plunged into darkness.

 

***

 

Asami was vaguely aware that someone shook her. _Is it time to wake up? I didn’t hear my alarm go off._ She groaned softly. _I’m so tired. Just five more minutes?_

“Asami, please Asami.” The voice was familiar to her but she couldn’t place it. A chill raced through her. _Who took all the blankets?_ With great effort she opened her eyes. She could see the stars above her. _Why am I not in my room?_ She turned her head and fought a wave of nausea. Asami closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again all she could focus on was green. Green that was so familiar. Green that made her relax a little despite all the confusion.

“Asami? Can you answer me?”

Her memory finally seemed to catch up to her. “Kuvira?” She frowned. _Where are we? Future Industries. The mission._ “What happened?”

“It nearly killed you.” Kuvira’s voice sounded raw, broken. “Can you stand? We need to get back to base.” Asami let Kuvira help her up. Her body felt drained and she leaned heavily on Kuvira.

Details of the mission slowly crawled back into her mind. “Did they get the message to team two?” she asked.

“I think so. I hope they got out in time. I saw the blast from here. Apparently your weapon works.” No sooner had Kuvira spoke than they heard another rumble and Asami saw a blast of light shoot across the sky. A second later, it happened again, this time the beam was redirected upward and the explosion made the entire city tremble. Kuvira bent a wall of stone to hide behind. When the blast seemed to be over, she lowered it.

“What is that?” Asami asked. A golden beam of light shot up from the heart of the city. Kuvira and Asami looked at each other.

“Whatever it is, I doubt it’s good,” Kuvira muttered. “Come on, we’ll know more when we get back.”

 

***

 

Asami refused to be taken back to her room. Instead, she waited anxiously in the comm room as Kya looked her over.

“You seem to be fine. It doesn’t look like there was any permanent damage. You’re lucky you were only knocked out and not killed.”

“I know.” Asami glanced at the door again. “They should be back by now.”

“Jinora is trying to reach them,” Kuvira said.

Asami nodded. “I know. I just…I have this awful sense of foreboding.” She turned to Kya. “Will you stay here? They might need your assistance.”

“Of course.” Kya gave her a small smile. “But I hope for their sake that I’m not needed.”

Asami heard the main doors of the base roll open. Kya and Kuvira hurried out into the hallway. Asami fidgeted in her chair. She didn’t quite trust her legs to carry her full weight yet. A moment later, Kuvira returned, her expression grim.

Asami’s heart sank into a pit in her stomach. She felt sick. _Someone died._ “What? What happened?”

Kuvira knelt next to Asami and took her hand. “They were able to successfully test fire the weapon, but like you suspected, the blast drew its attention. Mako and Bolin battled it while the others retreated.” Kuvira paused and squeezed Asami’s hand. “Varrick and your father decided to fire on it, since the initial tests were a success. Your father took the first shot…it…” Kuvira wouldn’t meet her eyes. “It redirected the beam.”

“Redirected it where?” She gripped Kuvira’s shoulders. “Where Kuvira? Who was hit?”

“Your father Asami, he –”

Asami didn’t hear the rest of Kuvira’s sentence. _He’s gone? He can’t be gone. He wouldn’t leave me alone like that. Why would he make such a risky play?_ Warm arms surrounded her and held her tightly.

“I’m so sorry Asami,” Kuvira whispered.

Something inside Asami snapped. _This wasn’t the plan. They didn’t follow the plan. Mako and Bolin were supposed to protect them._ She pushed out of Kuvira’s arms and struggled to her feet.

“Asami, where are you going?” Kuvira reached out to stop her, but she shrugged off the hand.

She didn’t answer Kuvira. She leaned against the walls to help her move down the hallway and into the large room where team two was still gathered. Kya was bent over Bolin, moving the water over a large gash on his arm. Mako looked fairly unscathed, but he hovered over his brother anxiously. She took another step and Mako finally looked over at her.

“Asami…” He walked to her. “They told me what happened. Are you–”

She cut him off with a punch to the face. She nearly toppled over from the effort. Mako staggered backward, a look of disbelief on his face.

“You son of a bitch!” Asami yelled. “Why didn’t you follow the plan?”

“I _did._ We tried to get them to leave. They wouldn’t go! They said it was the best opportunity.” Mako took a step forward but halted when Asami raised her hand again.

“Why didn’t you protect him?” She wanted punch him until his face was unrecognizable. “You were there to protect him. If anyone should have died, it should have been you!” If her throat didn’t already hurt she would have screamed at him until she was hoarse. _It should have been you._  
            “There wasn’t anything I could do!” he shouted back. “And it doesn’t matter because it can bend the beam! Now we have more to worry about than ever thanks to your stupid weapon!”

Rage built within her. “What? How dare you blame me for–”

“How are we supposed to fight an army, Asami?” he growled.

“An army?” _What is he talking about?_ She glanced around the room. No one would meet her eyes.

“I didn’t get a chance to tell her,” Kuvira said from behind her.

Mako shook his head. “Asami, Varrick took a second shot. I don’t know what it did, but now there’s a spirit portal in the middle of Republic City, and dark spirits are pouring out of it. I know you’re grieving, but we have bigger concerns right now.”

Asami tried to lunge at him again, but Kuvira caught her and held her back.

“Asami, stop.” Kuvira held her firmly. Asami briefly thought of leg sweeping Kuvira, but she couldn’t find the strength. She sagged in Kuvira’s arms and let her lead them back to her room. Kuvira pulled her onto the bed and Asami curled up against her side. They lay that way in silence until the tears Asami had been trying to hold back finally spilled down her cheeks.


	6. Chapter 6

Asami walked purposefully down the hallway with Kuvira right behind her. She reached to open the door to the comm room but Kuvira gripped her wrist to keep her from turning the handle.

“Asami, are you sure you’re ready to go back? It’s only been a few days.”

Asami took a deep breath. “I’ll be fine. Better once we come up with a new plan.”

“I know but…I worry about you.” Kuvira let go of Asami’s hand. Asami gave her a brief smile and opened the door. Jinora was the only one waiting for them.

“Is there any good news?” Asami asked.

Jinora shook her head. “Not really, no.”

“Fantastic.” Asami closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

Jinora nodded. “Ever since…it took her over, the spirit world has been in turmoil. Now that there’s a portal here, spirits that come through are being corrupted by it.”

Asami opened her eyes and looked at Jinora. “So now we have an army of corrupted spirits rampaging through the city?” Jinora nodded slowly. Asami paced back and forth in front of the table. “If it was…no longer in control of her, would the spirits go back to normal?”

“Most likely. The spirit world, and the spirits, reflect the mood of the Avatar.” Jinora furrowed her brow. “Why? Do you have a plan?”

“We’ll have to go back to the original plan.” She looked at Kuvira who was already frowning.

“Which is?” Jinora asked.

Asami shrugged. “We give it what it wants.”

“You mean you?” Jinora asked.

Asami merely nodded.

“Are you insane?” Kuvira growled. “It nearly _killed_ you last time.”

Jinora glanced between Asami and Kuvira. “I’ll just…let you two discuss the mission plan…” Slowly, she made her way out of the comm room.

They both stood in silence for a long moment. The tension between them was almost palpable.

“I won’t let you do it,” Kuvira said at last.

“Won’t let me?” Asami shook her head. “You don’t get a say in the matter.”

Asami could see the muscles in Kuvira’s body tense. “I care about you Asami, I’m not going to let you throw your life away.”

“I deserve to be the one to die.” She hadn’t meant to say that out loud, despite the number of times she had thought it.

“Don’t talk like that,” Kuvira’s voice was a whisper. Like all the air had gone from her lungs.

“It’s my fault Kuvira.” She jabbed her index finger toward her chest for emphasis. “ _I_ couldn’t save her from it. _I_ couldn’t stop it. _I_ couldn’t bring myself to be the one to kill her. Me.”

“No one blames you for–”

“They should!” Asami slammed a fist on the table. “How many people would still be alive now if I’d just…”

Kuvira gripped her shoulders and turned her so they faced each other. “You didn’t kill those people Asami, it did.”

“I didn’t stop it when I had the chance, isn’t that just as bad?” She was having trouble seeing through the tears.

“No, it’s not. You _know_ it’s not.” Kuvira gently tilted Asami’s chin until she looked Kuvira in the eye. “A commander has to make decisions on the battlefield. They aren’t always the right ones. You thought there was still a chance to bring her back, and you didn’t want to give up on her. You made a tough call, but you can’t blame yourself for what happened after. We have to keep moving forward.”

Asami met her eyes defiantly. “That’s why I need to stop it.”

Kuvira dropped her hand, her fingers clenching into a fist. “Damn it Asami, you don’t need to be a martyr. We’ll find another way!”

“We don’t have any time! It’s bad enough that it’s still out there, now there are spirits roaming the city. It might stay here to chase after me, but do you think the spirits will stay put?” She shook her head. “How long before they spill over into the Earth Kingdom?” Asami saw the fear there in Kuvira’s eyes at the mention of her people being under attack. “We can’t let that happen.”

Kuvira gritted her teeth, but didn’t speak. Asami’s hands moved to Kuvira’s waist. She tugged gently and pulled Kuvira close. Kuvira rested her head against Asami’s shoulder. Asami tightened her hold, trying to memorize every detail. She wanted to be able to remember the play of muscles beneath her fingers, and the way Kuvira’s hair fell across her cheek when it escaped her tie. She wished that she could order Kuvira to stay behind, but knew even if she did, Kuvira wouldn’t listen.  She didn’t want to watch Kuvira die. She wanted to keep her safe.

“Asami?” Kuvira whispered.

“Yes?” Asami breathed.

“I want…” Kuvira tilted her head back to meet Asami’s eyes. _Green._ As long as she lived, she wanted to always remember that shade of green.

“What do you want?” Asami asked.

Kuvira sighed and buried her face back in Asami’s shoulder. “I can’t ask it.”

Asami leaned back and guided Kuvira away from her shoulder until she could look into her eyes again. “You don’t have to ask.”

The kiss wasn’t gentle. Desperate need clawed inside Asami and she gripped Kuvira roughly, teeth scraping her lips. Kuvira moaned, her hands moving to the buttons on Asami’s jacket. She tore at the clothing and Asami vaguely heard the buttons clatter to the floor. Kuvira broke the kiss and with a few quick gestures, sent her the top of her uniform to join Asami’s jacket. Kuvira tugged on Asami’s hair to gain access to her neck while Asami’s hands slid under Kuvira’s shirt and raked down her back. Kuvira bit down on Asami’s shoulder in response, and earned her a cry somewhere between surprise and pleasure. Kuvira pressed against her and the back of Asami’s legs bumped against the table. _The comm room table._ Suddenly, she remembered where they were.

Panting, Asami pushed against Kuvira’s chest. “Kuvira, we can’t.”

Kuvira took a step back and tried to smooth back some of her hair that had fallen loose. “You’re right, I’m sorry, you’re not ready. I shouldn’t –”

“No, you idiot!” She gestured around them. “We’re in the _comm room_. Anyone could walk in on us.” She cupped Kuvira’s cheek. “Trust me, I didn’t want to stop.”

Asami watched with fascination as Kuvira’s eyes darkened. “My room is closest,” Kuvira murmured. They quickly retrieved their clothing and Asami grabbed Kuvira’s hand without another word. She led her through the door and down the corridor. Asami barely restrained the urge to take off running in order to get there faster.

When they reached Kuvira’s room, Kuvira kicked the door shut and turned the lock. Asami immediately found herself pinned against the wall with Kuvira pressed against her. She pulled Kuvira into another bruising kiss. Asami’s fingers tangled in Kuvira’s hair, tugging at the tie there. Suddenly, her hands were forced backward to the wall. She broke the kiss to look up. A thin piece of metal wrapped around each of her wrists, keeping them above her head. Asami raised a brow. “Really?”

Kuvira blinked as if coming out of a haze. She followed Asami’s gaze. “Spirits, I’m sorry. I just wanted your hands out of the way. I wasn’t thinking.” She started to make movements with her hand, undoubtedly to remove them.

“Wait.” Kuvira froze. “Leave them.” Asami smiled. “I kind of like it when you’re in charge.”

Kuvira’s low moan in response made Asami shiver. Her hands slid across Asami’s sides and moved to the bottom of her shirt. “You’re sure?” She toyed with the shirt hem.

Asami nodded. “I’m sure.”

 She gasped when Kuvira’s hands slipped under her shirt. She reached around and undid Asami’s bra clasp. Kuvira pushed the shirt and bra upwards until it was bunched above Asami’s breasts. The cool air on her skin was replaced with warmth as Kuvira’s hands slid across her stomach.

“It feels so good to be touching you like this.” Kuvira traced her fingers lightly over Asami’s breasts and Asami arched into the touch. “You’re incredible. Your mind, your body, all of you is just incredible.” Kuvira leaned forward and captured Asami’s nipple between her lips, sucking and biting it.

Asami groaned. She wanted to touch Kuvira. She wanted to throw her onto the bed and ravish her. Instead, she was being subjected to perhaps the most perfect torment that she had ever experienced.

Kuvira moved her mouth to Asami’s other breast. She showed no inclination of moving any faster. “Please,” Asami moaned.

She lifted her head enough to speak. “Yes?” Her lips ghosted over Asami’s nipple as she spoke, sending shivers through her body.

“Please, I want to touch you.” Asami whimpered when she felt Kuvira drag her nails across her stomach. The cuffs around her wrists gave way. Her hands tugged at Kuvira’s shirt, pulling it up and off. Kuvira’s lips were on her neck again, tracing over the bite mark she had left earlier. Asami shoved Kuvira hard. She stumbled backward onto the bed. Kuvira’s eyes never left her as she undid her pants and stepped out of them. Her underwear soon followed. Kuvira kicked off her shoes and reached for her pants.

Asami held up a hand. “Wait, let me.” She sauntered over to the bed and crawled on top of Kuvira. She brought her hand to the ties on Kuvira’s pants. “Is this okay?”

Kuvira cupped Asami’s cheek and kissed her deeply. “Yes. I’ve wanted this for so long.” Now that she had permission, Asami couldn’t force herself to slow down. Her fingers nearly ripped through the ties. Kuvira lifted her hips and helped Asami pull the pants down. Asami trailed hand across the top of Kuvira’s underwear before hooking a finger in the band and dragging them down as well.

Her breath caught as she paused to take in the sight of the beautiful woman lying beneath her. Asami shifted so that she straddled one of Kuvira’s legs. She pressed forward until her thigh rested against Kuvira’s center. Kuvira moaned and rocked her hips against it. Asami leaned down and trailed kisses up Kuvira’s stomach, to her breasts. She stopped just shy of Kuvira’s nipple, deciding instead to use her hands. Carefully she pinched and rolled the hardened peak between her fingers. She watched Kuvira toss her head back and bite her lip. She closed her eyes, savoring the soft moans Kuvira made as she let her hands roam. Asami kissed her way further up Kuvira’s body until she reached her ear.

“Are you ready for me?” she murmured.

“Please, Asami,” Kuvira panted. Asami’s hand traced random patterns across Kuvira’s skin, gradually dipping lower. She brushed across Kuvira’s hip, then down to her inner thigh. Finally, her fingers pressed against Kuvira’s clit. Kuvira moaned and arched off the bed. Asami continued slowly stroking her. She couldn’t take her eyes off of Kuvira’s face as the woman writhed beneath her.

“Asami,” she breathed. “Stop teasing. Please?”

Asami smiled and let her fingers slip lower, gently pushing inside. Kuvira groaned and began moving her hips, thrusting against Asami’s hand. It felt amazing to know she was giving Kuvira so much pleasure. It felt powerful. The broken pieces of her name echoed in Asami’s mind and made her want to do whatever it took to keep Kuvira making those sounds. Kuvira’s hands slid to Asami’s shoulders, her nails digging into her skin. Asami moaned softly and increased her pace, thrusting harder within Kuvira. She could feel Kuvira’s body moving under her, hips rolling as her hand moved. When Kuvira arched off the bed, Asami wrapped her arm around the small of her back, pulling her close.

“Asami, I’m –” her words were cut short by a gasp as Asami shifted her hand to let her thumb rub against Kuvira’s clit. Kuvira cried out as she came, chanting Asami’s name over and over. Asami kept her hands moving until Kuvira reached between them to still her arm. Asami smiled and removed her hand, falling to the bed beside Kuvira and kissing her cheek.

“How was that?” Asami asked.

Kuvira chuckled weakly and turned to face her lover. “You have to ask?”

Asami traced across Kuvira’s abdominal muscles. _Spirits I love her muscles._ “Well, I wasn’t sure if you were going to say fantastic, or amazing. Details are important,” she teased. 

“Hmm, both?” Kuvira shifted so that she lay on her side. “Yes, both words.” She cupped Asami’s cheek and pulled her into a lingering kiss. Asami sighed and tugged on Kuvira’s waist, urging her on top. Kuvira straddled Asami’s waist, and braced herself with one hand as the other gently caressed Asami’s chest.

“I need you,” Asami whispered.

Kuvira hummed in agreement. “I know.” Kuvira kissed her again. Asami closed her eyes and focused on the sensation of Kuvira’s lips against her own. She moaned when Kuvira moved to her neck. The kisses were mixed with small bites as she worked her way down Asami’s body. Asami let her fingers trail through Kuvira’s hair which at some point had fallen out of its bun. Kuvira took her time, lavishing attention to each of Asami’s breasts.

“Fuck,” she groaned. “ _Please._ ” Her body felt like it was on fire. Her fingers gripped Kuvira’s hair tighter. Kuvira shifted lower, her lips moving across Asami’s stomach, kissing first one side, then the other. Asami shivered in anticipation.

“I want my mouth on you,” Kuvira mumbled against her skin.

Asami tugged gently on Kuvira’s hair, urging her down. “Yes, I want that too.”

Her lips moved lower, just hovering over where Asami wanted her most. “I want to hear you moan my name when you come.” Kuvira adjusted so that her arms wrapped around Asami’s thighs, holding her in place. Lightly, Kuvira brushed her lips across Asami’s clit.

“Yes,” Asami gasped. She tried to roll her hips up, but Kuvira held her firmly, her tongue moving in light teasing strokes. Asami lost herself to the sensation. All of the stress and pain melted away and was replaced with the feeling of Kuvira’s mouth on her. She knew she was close, she could feel her orgasm building within her. It traveled across her body like electricity, overloading her senses. She tried to hold on, to suspend the moment for as long as possible. She felt Kuvira moan into her and she tipped over the edge. Her release swept through her, and her breath caught in her throat. She couldn’t form actual words, just small shards of sound until Kuvira sucked Asami’s clit hard into her mouth. In the midst of her pleasure a spark of guilt lanced through her. Guilt that she happy, that she was here. _I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Korra._ But one word broke through. “Korra…” and everything shattered.


	7. Chapter 7

Asami didn’t know how long it had been since Kuvira had thrown her out of her room. She had barely pulled on her pants and jacket before Kuvira slammed the door behind her. The tears that had streamed down her cheek were gone now. Instead she focused on striking the dummy in front of her. Small red dots had been painted over the pressure points to practice her chi blocking. She had gone through her normal routine over and over until she lost count of her number of repetitions. Her mind kept replaying the night’s events. _Why did I say that?_ That was perhaps the most troubling thought. She was certain she hadn’t been thinking of _her_ in that moment. She hadn’t even spoken that name aloud in almost a year. _And yet, here I am._ She growled and attacked the dummy with renewed vigor. _Did a part of me do it on purpose? To push her away?_ Asami’s strike landed off target and she let her hands fall to her side. Her chest heaved from the workout. _No, that can’t be it. I care too much about her._

“It’s not as if their names are similar or anything…” Asami muttered sarcastically. She walked away from the dummy and sank onto a nearby bench. She wanted to shower but wasn’t ready to go back to her room. It was filled with tender memories of Kuvira holding her through the night, and she wasn’t ready for that kind of onslaught. _She doesn’t deserve this. She should have someone who can love her, someone who isn’t broken._ She sighed and leaned her head back against the wall. _Mako hates me for falling for his ex, who has turned into a creature determined to kill me, and I ripped the heart out of the one person who gave a damn. Good job, Sato._ She tried to think back and remember what had been going through her mind. Up until that point it had been the best night of her life. _Is that the problem? That I was happy?_

She reluctantly thought back to the aftermath. Kuvira had pushed away from her, wouldn’t meet her eyes. Asami hadn’t been able to form words. To go from the heights pleasure, to the depths of pain that quickly had left her stunned.

_“Get out.”_

_“I–”_

_“I said get out. I don’t want to look at you right now.”_

_“We should talk about–”_

_“Get. Out.” The chair, the armor in the closet, everything metal in the room seemed to tremble with rage._

The door creaked open and Asami turned to yell at whomever it was to leave. Kuvira stood frozen in the doorway, her expression stormy. She was wearing her work-out clothes, a grey tank top, baggy pants, and she had wrapped tape around her wrists and feet.

“I should have known you’d be here.” She walked into the room and closed the door behind her. Asami hung her head and shook it. _Of course, just perfect._ She knew she should leave, give Kuvira some space. After all, she was the one in the wrong, not Kuvira, but she couldn’t move. She couldn’t even offer an apology. _What good would that do? ‘I’m sorry I called out my ex-girlfriend’s name while you were eating me out, oops.’_ Kuvira started stretching on the other side of the room, Asami averted her eyes, choosing the stare at the floor.

“You don’t have anything to say?” Kuvira said. She finished stretching and walked over to stand in front of Asami.

“No,” Asami whispered. She braced herself for the yelling she assumed was coming.

“Stand up,” Kuvira ordered.

Asami looked up in surprise. “What?”

“I said.” Kuvira reached out and yanked Asami to her feet. “Stand up.”

Asami let her lead her to the sparring mats. “Kuvira I–”

“So you _do_ know my name, then?” she interrupted.

Asami gritted her teeth and turned away without replying. Her face burned with shame. “What do you want?”

“We’re going to work this out.” Kuvira shifted into a fighting stance. “Right now.”

“You want to talk about this here?” She gestured around the room.

Kuvira shook her head. “No, I want to fight you. No bending, no glove.”

“Kuvira–” She was interrupted by a kick. She leapt back to dodge it. “Fine. If that’s how you want it.” Asami took her stance as well. Her arms ached from the time she had spent with a training dummy, but if beating up on her would make Kuvira feel better, then so be it.

Kuvira struck again, this time with the edge of her palm. Asami blocked and aimed a kick at Kuvira’s head. Kuvira ducked, dropping to the floor and sweeping Asami’s legs. Asami rocked back and flipped up onto her feet. Kuvira threw a punch and Asami leaned to the side, letting the momentum carry Kuvira forward. She grabbed Kuvira’s wrist and shoulder and pushed, making her stumble past Asami. She lashed out with another kick, but Kuvira was able to turn and block.

“Do I fight like her, too?” Kuvira asked. Asami misread a feint and felt Kuvira’s fist connect. The wind was knocked out of her and she staggered.

“You’re not her,” Asami wheezed. “I know that.”

Kuvira advanced again with a flurry of blows. Asami weaved and dodged, realizing that Kuvira was driving her backward. She was running out of room to maneuver.

“Then why, Asami?” Kuvira asked. Asami felt her foot hit the wall. Her eyes widened when she saw Kuvira’s fist headed her way. She flinched, but the blow never came. Instead it thudded against the wall inches from her face. “Tell me why.”

“I felt guilty,” Asami whispered.

“Guilty?” Kuvira pushed off from the wall and took a few steps to give them distance. “That’s your excuse?”

Asami hugged herself. “I wasn’t giving you an excuse. You asked me why, and that’s why.”

Kuvira clenched her hands into fists. “What? You felt guilty so you purposefully said it?”

It hurt that Kuvira could even think that. “No!”

“What then?” Kuvira threw her hands in the air.

“I was telling her I was sorry!” Asami shouted. “I felt terrible that I was there and I was so fucking happy, and people have _died_ because of me. She died because of me! The name was just the only part that slipped out.” Kuvira didn’t move for a moment. She just stared at Asami, so Asami continued. “I keep feeling like it’s wrong to be happy. Like, I should be more focused on the mission, on stopping it. In that moment I was so unburdened by all the awful things that have happened, that I felt good…and that felt wrong somehow. ”

“I tried to be so careful,” Kuvira said. “I knew that you were in a bad place, and I didn’t want to pressure you.” She shook her head. “I wanted to give you what _you_ needed.” Kuvira moved in front of Asami and held her gaze. “But now…now it’s about what _I_ need. What I need right now is for you to answer one question.” Kuvira took shaky breath. “Who do you really want to be with, her or me? Never mind the circumstances. If she walked in here right now, who would you choose?”

The question was one Asami had toyed with from time to time. Typically, she didn’t dwell on it. After all what was the point of ‘what if’ when she was never going to come back? But now Kuvira was asking her to make a conscious choice. _Am I just settling because I can’t have what I really want?_ She stared at Kuvira’s eyes and watched the emotions play across them. Fear, pain, anger, hope, and…love? This was Kuvira, a kind but fierce woman who had been with her through the terrible times in her life, first as a friend and now as a lover. This was the woman who brought her back from the brink of destruction. She had seen Asami at her worst, and still was here. Asami knew that some part of her would always love _her_. But Asami wasn’t the same person she had been back then. The person she was now wanted Kuvira, _needed_ Kuvira.

“You,” she said at last.

Kuvira shook her head and gripped Asami’s shoulders. “Who do you choose?”

Realization struck her and Asami took a step forward, nearly pressing against Kuvira’s body. “I want to be with you, Kuvira.”

Kuvira closed her eyes and seemed to savor the moment. “Say it again.”

“Kuvira,” Asami whispered.

Kuvira’s hands slid up Asami’s shoulders and cupped her face. “Again.” She kissed Asami softly.

“Kuvira,” Asami gasped when they broke apart. Kuvira turned away for a brief second and made a sharp twisting motion towards the gym door. Asami heard the click of the lock turning. Her eyes widened. “You can’t be serious. Here?”

Kuvira turned back to Asami, her eyes dark with want. “If you don’t want to, tell me now.”

Asami’s heart was beating wildly and she knew she was panting. “Believe me I want to, but are _you_ sure?”

Kuvira kissed her hard, pressing her back against the wall. Asami moaned softly when she felt Kuvira’s leg press between her own. Kuvira’s hand slid under the waistband of her pants and she leaned her head back, gasping for breath. “Kuvira.”

“I want to fuck you until that’s all you can say,” Kuvira growled. Asami shuddered. Kuvira’s hands slipped under Asami’s underwear and began to stroke her.

“Kuvira, fuck…” Asami’s legs felt like they were going to give out at any second, she knew she was trembling. “Kuvira, I’m going to fall over if you–”

Kuvira withdrew her hand and Asami whimpered at the loss of contact. She wrapped one arm around Asami’s waist and pivoted, tossing her to the mat on the floor. Asami barely had time to register what had happened before Kuvira was on top of her kissing her roughly. Asami groaned and rolled her hips against Kuvira, seeking some kind of contact. Kuvira’s hands moved to Asami’s pants, pulling them off along with her underwear. Kuvira’s fingers skimmed across her stomach.

“Say it,” Kuvira whispered. Her breath was hot against Asami’s ear.

“Kuvira please,” Asami whimpered. Her hands ran over the taut muscles in Kuvira’s shoulders and back. Kuvira pressed inside of her at last and she scratched her nails down Kuvira’s arms.

“Fuck. Kuvira that feels so good,” Asami moaned. Kuvira growled softly and thrust harder, curling her fingers with each stroke. Wanting to get closer Asami wrapped her legs around Kuvira’s waist, allowing her to thrust deeper within her.

“That’s it,” Kuvira groaned. “Asami, say it again.” Kuvira adjusted her thrusts so the palm of her hand rubbed against her clit. Asami threw her head back and cried out Kuvira’s name again. It became a chant in time with Kuvira’s thrusts. Her arms wrapped around Kuvira’s neck, clinging to her as the sensations started to overwhelm her. Kuvira panted lightly in her ear, her whole body shifting against the mat with each movement of Kuvira’s hand. She tried to focus. She wanted to stay on the edge of bliss for as long as possible. Then Kuvira bit down hard on her shoulder. For a second Asami forgot to breathe. Then she screamed Kuvira’s name, the sound echoing around the gym. Kuvira’s movements slowed, and gradually stilled. She leaned forward resting her head against Asami’s.

“Was that okay?” Kuvira panted.

Asami had to take a few breaths in order to remember how to properly form words. “It was incredible. I just…do you forgive me?”

Kuvira raised a brow. “For earlier?”

“Yes.” Asami held her breath as she waited for a reply.

Kuvira kissed her forehead. “I forgive you.” A small smirk tugged at Kuvira’s lips. “We should probably leave, I’m pretty sure someone heard that.”

Asami blushed crimson and buried her face in Kuvira’s neck. “Oh Spirits…”

Kuvira chuckled. “Come on, put your pants back on and you can take me back to your place.”

Asami pulled her pants and underwear back on. “Why not yours? It’s closer.”

“I might have…broken a few things.” Kuvira blushed slightly and busied herself with undoing the tape around her wrists.

Asami reached over and took Kuvira’s hand. “You mean so much to me Kuvira.” She traced along Kuvira’s fingers. “I know I’m a little messed up…” Asami laughed. “Okay, I’m _really_ messed up, but I want to be with you.”

Kuvira leaned in and kissed her gently. “I want to be with you too, Asami.” She grinned. “And I always get what I want.”

Asami glanced at the clock by the door and sighed heavily. _Four in the morning?_ “I am going to need so much coffee tomorrow.”

Kuvira stood and pulled Asami to her feet. “Call out sick?” she teased.

“Right, and then Kya would want to take a look at me and just how would I explain this?” She tilted her head to the side to show Kuvira the bite marks all over her neck.

Kuvira smiled. “I refuse to apologize.”

“I wasn’t asking you to.” She headed for the door. “Now we’re going to lay down so I can get at least a little bit of sleep.”

Kuvira gave a halfhearted salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

Asami smacked her playfully before taking Kuvira’s hand. When they finally collapsed in bed a few moments later, she still had not relinquished the grasp.


	8. Chapter 8

Asami woke when something tickled her nose. She groaned softly and opened her eyes. Kuvira was lying half on top of her, her hair spilling across Asami’s face. She shifted against the smooth warm skin beneath the blankets. _Skin?_ Asami blushed. _We probably got too hot with the extra body heat._ Her whole body ached, both from her time with the training dummy, and everything she and Kuvira had done. _Don’t dwell on that while we’re both half naked._ She glanced at her clock and her eyes widened. _It’s nine-thirty?_ She sat up and Kuvira groaned.

She reached over a lightly shook Kuvira’s shoulder. “Kuvira, wake up,” Asami said.

Kuvira immediately sat up, her hands in front of her, ready to attack. “What’s wrong?” Her eyes darted around the room searching for a potential threat.

“It’s nine-thirty and no one has come looking for us.” Asami ran a hand through her hair, her mind already coming up with reasons that they weren’t missed.

Kuvira glanced at the clock. “Something must be wrong.” She stood up. “Do you want me to go look?”

Asami stood as well and moved to Kuvira’s side. “I should probably go. You’re still wearing my clothes.” Asami traced her finger along the red shirt Kuvira had pulled on the night before.

Kuvira leaned forward and kissed her gently. “Alright. Be careful.”

Asami smiled and pulled on clean clothes. She opened the door and peered out into the hall. Jinora rounded the corner and Asami quickly shut her door behind her, not wanting her to know who else was in her room.

“Asami!” Jinora jogged over to Asami. “I’m glad you’re up.”

“I slept through my alarm.” _Not really a lie, seeing as Kuvira slept in._ “Why didn’t anyone come get me?”

Jinora shifted uncomfortably. “Kya said we should let you sleep in.”

“Kya?” Asami’s mind raced. _Did she think I’m sick?_

“She said she ran into you last night and thought you probably overworked yourself.”

Asami couldn’t stop the blush that crept across her face. “I see…” Jinora studied her closely. “But you came to get me now.”

“Yes. I went looking for Opal to show her some meditation techniques this morning and I couldn’t find her,” Jinora said softly. She frowned. “Then, I went to find Bolin because I thought, maybe they were…you know, together.” She took a breath. “I couldn’t find him either.”

“Did you ask Mako?” Asami had a sick sense of dread pooling in her gut.

“He’s gone too.” Jinora hesitated before continuing. “We think maybe they went out after it on their own.”

“Damn it.” Asami pinched her brow. “Do we know when they left?”

“It looks like it was some time last night.” Jinora fidgeted nervously.

“And they haven’t returned?”

“No.” Jinora bit her lip. “It’s not looking good.”

Asami took a breath to try to calm the panic that threatened. “We need to go see if we can find them.”

Jinora nodded. “You get Kya. I’ll get Kuvira and meet you at the gate.”

Asami cleared her throat. “I can tell Kuvira.”

“It’s quicker if…” Jinora’s eyes widened. “She’s in your room right now, isn’t she?”

Reluctantly Asami met Jinora gaze. “Yes.”

Jinora stroked her chin thoughtfully. “And Kya wanted to let you sleep in…because last night–”

“Yes!” Asami’s face felt like it was on fire. “But we have more pressing matters right now!”

Jinora nodded. “Okay, _I’ll_ go get Kya and meet you two at the gate.” Jinora rolled her eyes and shook her head at Asami before she headed back down the hall.

Asami opened the door to her room. Kuvira looked up from buttoning her uniform. “What’s wrong?”

Asami moved beside Kuvira and pulled her into her arms. It helped to ease the fear coiling inside her. “Mako, Bolin, and Opal are missing.”

“Missing?” Kuvira leaned back to meet Asami’s eyes.

“We think they went after it,” Asami whispered.

“Why would they…” Kuvira’s words died out.

“Jinora didn’t say, but I think it was because of what I said.” She gripped Kuvira tighter.

“Don’t think that,” Kuvira said. “We don’t know anything yet. Let’s get changed and find them.” Kuvira offered her a small smile. “Then you can yell at them for being idiots.”

 

***

 

The four of them hurried through the streets. Clouds already were gathering in the sky, and Asami hoped that it didn’t rain. If they ran into it, rain would give it access to water. If they had to fight it, she wanted to have any advantage possible.

Jinora had been able to locate Bolin’s energy, but not Opal, or Mako. Asami didn’t want to think the worst, but she didn’t see another reason that Jinora wouldn’t be able to find them.

Jinora had said that Bolin was hurt badly, but he was conscious. _Maybe Mako and Opal are just unconscious?_ She gritted her teeth and forced herself to move more quickly.

That was easier said than done. Dark spirits had overtaken much of the city. They constantly had to change their route, or battle their way through the streets. Finally, they closed in on Bolin’s location. They slowed and waited at a safe distance. She signaled for Jinora to seek it out and make sure they were safe. The rest of them waited anxiously. Jinora only took a moment of meditation.

“Go, but hurry. It knows we’re here.” They rushed into a nearby building. Jinora led them to a pile of rubble. “He’s under there.”

Kuvira quickly lifted the stone and metal off of Bolin. Jinora gently lifted him up with a small cushion of air. Once he was clear of the rubble, Kuvira let the debris fall back down. Kya immediately went to Bolin’s side, her water already starting to move over his body.

“I can stabilize him,” Kya said. “But then we need to get him back to base. It isn’t safe here.”

Asami shook her head. “We need to look for Mako and Opal.” 

“Asami, if Bolin is hurt this bad…” Jinora didn’t finish the sentence. She didn’t have to.

“We have to try,” Asami said. “They could just be unconscious.”

Kuvira gently squeezed Asami’s shoulder. “Let’s make it quick.”

They combed the surrounding area, Jinora flying overhead to see if she could spot them. Asami took in the aftermath of the battle with a sinking heart. Scorch marks decorated the sides of the buildings, and cooled lava littered the ground. She pictured the fight in her mind, trying to retrace the movements. She carefully picked her way across the street.

She almost didn’t see him. Mako lay face down on the side of the street. At least she assumed it was him. The body was too tall to be Opal. The corpse was covered in burns, leaving only scraps of cloth here and there. _Those wouldn’t have killed him._ She approached the body carefully and turned him over. Nausea threatened to make her vomit. The front of his face was caved in, probably from a rock. She turned away and forced herself to breathe.

“Asami, I found Opal.” Kuvira called. Asami looked up and met Kuvira’s eyes. They were laced with a dangerous amount of anger and pain. Asami didn’t have to ask to know that Opal was also dead. Her fingers dug into her palms as she clenched her fists making the leather in her equalist glove creak.

“I want this to end.” Her voice shook with rage. “I’m tired of seeing the people I care about die.”

Kuvira shook her head. “Asami, we need a plan, we can’t just–”

“I have a plan.” She lifted her gloved hand and flexed it, sending small currents of electricity sparking along the surface. “You, Jinora, and Kya need to head back to the base with Bolin.”

Kuvira gripped both of Asami’s shoulders. “No, I’m staying with you.”

“Kuvira, I don’t want to be worrying about you when–”

“You’ll need my help,” Kuvira insisted. “I can help you get close enough to hit her with your glove.”

Asami gripped the front of Kuvira’s outfit tightly and pulled her close. Tears were burning behind her eyes and she couldn’t afford to cry right now. “I can’t watch you die, Kuvira,” she whispered. There had already been too much death, too many funerals to attend. 

“And you think I’m just going to walk away and let you face it all by yourself?” Kuvira tugged on Asami’s equalist mask and pulled it off. “No, I don’t think so.”

Asami slid her hand along Kuvira’s mask and pulled it off as well. She wanted to memorize every detail of Kuvira’s face. She wanted to know the exact color of those eyes, the placement of her mole, every crease in her smile. She leaned forward and kissed her gently. “Okay, together then.”

Jinora landed beside them. “What’s going on?”

“You and Kya are taking Bolin back to the base. Kuvira and I are going to end this.” Asami threaded her hand in Kuvira’s.

Jinora’s eyes widened. “No, we should stay and help.”

“Bolin needs to get out of here. It will take one of you to carry him, and the other to keep away the spirits.” Asami gave Jinora a small smile. “It’s time. I can do this.”

Jinora threw her arms around Asami and hugged her tightly. “Be careful.”

 

***

 

Kuvira and Asami sat in the middle of the street on a piece of rubble. Kya and Jinora had left a few moments ago, and now all they had to do was wait for it to reach them. _Should be any moment now._

“Asami?” Kuvira said.

Asami turned. “Yes?”

Kuvira levitated a rock absently above her hand, letting it spin. “Provided we survive this…what happens next?”

Asami shrugged and looked at the dilapidated buildings around them. “We start to rebuild. I’ll have to redesign the streets, _again_. We can bring some earth benders in to clear the –”

“I mean with us,” Kuvira interjected.

Asami looked back at Kuvira. “My home is here. Or…well, my home _was_ here.”

Kuvira shrugged. “I’m sure I could talk to Su…maybe become the official Earth Kingdom representative to Republic City?”

Asami sighed. “You love the military life though, I don’t want you to give that up.”

Kuvira gave her a small grin. “It’s a small price to pay if it means that you’ll always know that when I leave for the day, I’ll come back in one piece.”

“How about we take things one day at a time?” Asami took her hand. “I don’t want you to give up your military career for me only to find out we don’t work as a couple.”

Kuvira chuckled. “Well, first we have to deal with-” The sound of rattling chains cut off her sentence.

They both stood and lowered into their fighting stances. They finally saw it on top of one of the buildings. It dropped down to street level and regarded them passively. For an instant, Asami hoped maybe Korra would snap out of it, that the soulless white eyes would be blue again. But in her heart, she knew. There was only one way that would happen.

Suddenly it attacked. It brought both of its arms forward, pushed blasts of fire toward them. Kuvira brought up a wall to block and Asami ducked behind it. She could feel the heat from the flames licking across the top. Kuvira stood behind the wall, tossing a volley of small rocks at it. It dodged with unnatural speed, seeming to appear and reappear as it moved.

Kuvira pulled shingles from a nearby awning and shaped them into points before launching them at it. It bent them away and rushed toward Kuvira, using jets of fire to propel itself more quickly. Asami intercepted, lashing out with a series of kicks. It hopped backward and threw another streak of fire at her. Asami ducked and watched as a rock from Kuvira flew over her head and toward it. It leaned to the side, the boulder narrowly missing it, then if slumped forward, advancing on Kuvira again. Kuvira bent a streetlight and managed to wrap it around its waist, tossing it into a wall.

Small drops of water began to fall. _Not now…_ The grey clouds above them finally broke, and a steady drizzle fell around them.

It threw the streetlight back at Kuvira and she leapt out of the way. It lashed out, turning drops of rain into ice shards and shooting them toward them both. Kuvira brought up another wall of earth and they ducked behind it.

“Asami, we’ve got to end this soon. I’m going to try to grab it again and toss it your way. Make it count.” Kuvira looked like she might say more, but instead she turned her attention back to the fight. “Go.”

Asami slipped into the shadows and waited for her opportunity. She hated that Kuvira was essentially acting as a distraction. _As bait…_ She shook the thought from her mind. She needed to focus. She watched as Kuvira dodged boulders, fire, ice scythes, and tornados. A blast of air caught Kuvira off guard, sending her sliding backward and tumbling over vines and rubble. A spike of water followed after. Kuvira barely managed to move out of the way. Asami’s heart beat painfully in her chest. Kuvira looked tired, and Asami swore she was limping. _Come on…Kuvira please…_

As it threw another rock, Kuvira managed to use the awning shingles to grip its wrist and leg. She lifted it up and tossed it in Asami’s direction. _This is it._ Asami ran forward, leaping into the air. She let her momentum carry her into a twist, and she reached up her glove connecting with its chest. She held the contact as long as she could mid-air. She landed with a roll, and turned to see it hit the ground hard. She rushed over to it before it could recover and with a few quick strikes, rendered its bending useless.

She held her breath as she watched its unmoving form below her. Gradually, the white light in its eyes flickered, and then dimmed. _Blue._ Blue eyes looked up at her. Her brow furrowed and her mouth twisted into a grimace.

“Asami?” Korra’s voice was hoarse. “Where am I?”

Asami dropped to her knees beside her and pulled Korra into her lap. “Don’t worry about that.” It was hard to speak around the lump in her throat.

Korra frowned. “Can’t…raise my hand.”

Asami took Korra’s hand and squeezed it. “It’s okay. I just chi-blocked you.”

“I feel so weak. I’m…so tired.” Korra mumbled.

“I know, but it’s okay now.” Asami’s grip on her tightened as the tears started to fall, mixing the raindrops that had already collected on Korra’s shirt. “Just rest now, it’s going to be okay.” She knew Korra didn’t have long. The Avatar State was the only thing sustaining her body, and now she was cut off from it.

“Did it happen again?” Korra asked.

Asami had to take a breath before she could answer. “Yes, but its over now.” The tears streaming down her cheeks landed silently on Korra’s shirt.

“Asami…did I…did I hurt anyone?” The words were filled with so much fear, so much pain, and it broke Asami’s heart all over again.

She took a moment to compose herself before she replied. “No…no Korra…you didn’t hurt anyone.”

“I’m just going to rest my eyes a minute…” Korra said, her voice was barely a whisper. “Will you be here when I wake up?”

“Of course.” She reached up and ran a hand through Korra’s hair. Korra’s eyes fluttered shut. A final sigh escaped her lips, and with it a soft golden glow lifted into the air. _Raava._ It curled up above Korra’s head and gradually faded. Asami tried to squeeze her eyes shut, but the dam broke into body wracking sobs. She didn’t know how long she spent crying, but eventually she heard Kuvira approach her. She wanted to say something to her, but the words never made it through the choking gasps the tears had wrought.

“Asami, you did the right thing,” Kuvira said softly. “It was kind of you to give her that kind of peace before she died.” Asami nodded but remained silent. “When we get back we can send a team back for the bodies. We’ll give them a proper funeral.” Asami nodded again and absently wondered if the tears would ever stop now that she had let them fall. Kuvira knelt beside her and placed a hand on Asami’s arm. “We can stay here as long as you need.”

She didn’t know how long she sat there. Long enough for the rain to numb her to the chill of the morning, long enough for spirits to creep around them, but no matter how long she sat there, it would never be long enough to dull the ache in her heart.


	9. Chapter 9

Asami finished buttoning her black coat and let her hands fall to her sides. Days had passed since their final battle with Korra, but she still felt numb and listless. They had traveled to the South Pole to give Korra a proper Water Tribe funeral. The trip had been a quiet one and she knew there was a strain between her and Kuvira, but she didn’t know how to begin to fix it.

            Now that the battle for Republic City was over, Asami felt strangely empty. The challenge of rebuilding was not nearly as exciting for her this time. She closed her eyes and tried to think of how she had managed during those long years before Korra’s return.   _I always thought about how I would show her all the improvements._ Her fingers found their way into her pocket, brushing against the folded edges of the letter that rested there.

She looked at the door when she heard a soft knock. “Come in.” She expected it to be Kuvira and was surprised to see Jinora enter the room.

“Jinora?”

“We were preparing her for…today,” Jinora began. “We found something…and we think you should have it.” Jinora held out a small piece of paper, folded in fourths. Asami’s hand shook as she reached for it. Carefully, she unfolded it. She didn’t need to read it. She knew the words written there, because she had been the one to write them. _This must have been the last one she received before she left._ The knowledge that Korra had kept this with her all that time tore at her. The pain and sorrow that she had been numbed to swept through her. Her legs gave and she dropped to her knees, tears streaming down her face. _Did I do the right thing? If she held onto this, was there still a part of her in there?_

Jinora knelt beside her. “Asami?”

Asami just shook her head. The tears made speaking nearly impossible. _Forever Yours._ That was how she signed her letter. It seemed so cruel, now. How could she have promised Korra forever? Now she had Kuvira, and that promise was broken. Korra wasn’t even dead before Asami moved on to someone new. She sobbed harder and Jinora put an arm around her. Jinora sat with her until she was able to calm down.

“I’m sorry Jinora…it just…” Asami pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes, careful of her make up. “It all kind of hit me.” She looked down at the letter again. “She’s really gone.”

“Not truly.” Jinora gave her a small smile. “Korra was the Avatar, Asami. Somewhere out there is an earth bender only a few days old who will become the new Avatar. They will carry Korra’s memory with them, and with each Avatar after.”

“I know,” Asami said. “But that doesn’t really offer me comfort. _My_ Korra is gone, has been gone for a long time now.” She folded the letter and placed it in her pocket next to the other one. “I think I lost my Korra the day Zaheer was captured.” Asami took a deep breath and stood, straightening her outfit. “How’s my make up?”

Jinora studied her for a second. “You might want to clean it up a little.” Asami nodded and headed over to the mirror. “If you’re alright, I’m going to head down to the shore. I’ll meet you there?”

“Go ahead. Kuvira said we’d go together,” Asami called over her shoulder. Jinora left, closing the door softly behind her. Asami carefully fixed her make up. After she put on the final touches, she wondered why she was even bothering. _I’m just going to mess it up again._ She grabbed hand towel and began furiously scrubbing her face to remove the eyeliner and lipstick.

“Asami?” Kuvira called from outside the door. “Can I come in?”

“Just a second.” Asami set aside the towel and looked at her now clean face. She didn’t know if the lack of make up was an improvement or not. Her eyes had dark circles underneath them, and her face looked thin.

The door opened and Kuvira stuck her head in. “Hey.” She was also dressed for the funeral, wearing a long black coat over her outfit.

“Sorry…” Asami sighed and closed her eyes. “Jinora was just here and I…” she gripped the edges of the sink. “Sorry…” she whispered.

Kuvira moved to her side and slid a hand over one of Asami’s. Her death grip on the sink relaxed a little. “It’s alright, I know this has been difficult for you. I’ve tried to give you some space…but I’m wondering if maybe I shouldn’t have.”

“I don’t know, Kuvira.” Asami turned from the sink and stepped into her arms. “I feel like I don’t know anything.” She took a deep breath and let herself relax into Kuvira’s touch. She had missed this feeling. Kuvira’s strong arms around her somehow made the weight she carried seem lighter. The scent of jasmine, now so familiar to her, filled her senses.

“Asami, I could tell you that I understand what you’re feeling, but that doesn’t mean anything to you right now,” Kuvira murmured. “All I can really say is hold onto the memories you have of her. Remember her how she was in her prime. Remember her smile, remember her bravery, her kindness, and let that be the legacy that lives on.”

Asami nodded into Kuvira’s coat. “And us?” She leaned back to look into Kuvira’s eyes. “Is there still…”

“If you want there to be.” Kuvira gently traced her fingers across Asami’s cheek. Asami leaned forward and kissed her. It was a quick brush of their lips, but it still spread warmth through her.

“I want there to be an us.” Asami gave her a small smile.

“Okay.” Kuvira leaned forward and rested her head against Asami. They stood like that for a moment, lightly tracing hands over each other’s bodies. It felt good to feel her again. The soothing, gentle touches lacked passion and desire. Instead it was fueled by the need to comfort. Eventually, Kuvira’s hands stilled.

“We should really go.”

“I know.” Asami could already feel her throat tighten with sorrow. “Don’t leave me for a second, okay?”

Kuvira kissed her forehead. “I won’t.”

 

***

 

Asami watched the ocean as it churned in front of them. The wind made the small waves choppy, turbulent instead of soothing. Senna stood next to the small, wooden boat that held Korra’s body. Asami’s heart broke as Naga paced anxiously next to her, occasionally whining and pawing at the side of the ship.

A long line of people shifted forward, each paying their respects to the Avatar. When Kuvira and Asami reached the front of the line, Senna pulled her into a tight hug. Naga butted against Asami’s side and she reached up and affectionately scratched Naga’s ears.

Senna released her from the hug. “I’m glad to see you here, Asami.”

Asami couldn’t meet Senna’s eyes. “So many times I’ve tried to think of what I could possibly say to you to somehow…” Asami shook her head and her vision blurred with tears. “All I can think of is, I’m sorry.” She forced herself to breathe. “I’m so, so sorry.” Kuvira pulled her close, a protective arm around her shoulder. Naga whined again and pressed her nose against Asami’s face. She gripped the polarbear-dog’s neck and sobbed into it, her hands clutching at the fur. _You don’t understand, do you girl? I don’t understand it any better._ When she finally managed to compose herself, they walked over to the boat. Korra looked so peaceful lying there, surrounded by flowers and candles. Part of her wanted to reach out and touch her, to caress her face one last time, but she couldn’t. She didn’t want to feel the cold lifelessness of the body before her. She wanted to remember Korra filled with warmth, with life.

Asami reached into her pocket and pulled out the two letters. She traced her fingers across them, and then tucked them just under Korra’s clasped hands. “Be at peace.”

She let Kuvira guide her away from the boat and off to the side where the others were waiting. No one really said anything, they just nodded in greeting and stared off at the ocean, each lost in their own thoughts.

When everyone finally finished paying respects, an elder of the Water Tribe stood in front of them and gave the eulogy. Asami didn’t hear him. She was lost in the colors of the sunset over the icy waters, and wondering if Korra was there to say goodbye to them.

The elder finished his speech and the members from the White Lotus approached the boat. They pushed it off of the shore and let the waves carry it out to sea. Archers places their arrows into a brazier, and in unison released them. The fire arced through the sky and struck the boat, slowly engulfing it in flames.

Naga let out a long low howl; its sound echoed across the waves and somehow seemed to embody how Asami felt. Kuvira’s hand found hers and gave it a squeeze. Asami watched the boat slip away across the water until it disappeared from view. Gradually, people trickled away, driven off by the chill that had settled in once the sun had set. Senna still stood by the ocean, Naga at her side. Asami finally turned away and met Kuvira’s eyes. _Green_.  She still had people that cared about her, that maybe loved her. The pain in her life would always be there, eased by time, but never gone. It was likely that more pain would follow, more funerals, more death, but she was determined to live in spite of the pain. Korra would have wanted that, and looking into Kuvira’s eyes, she realized she wanted that too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry....not sorry


	10. Chapter 10

Afterword

 

 

Dear Readers,

 

I am going to use this last chapter to address some concerns that I feel people might have with the AU. I encourage you to read through it before commenting and voicing concerns as I may answer your question here.

 

**If you have not finished the story and are reading this, there are spoilers below.**

 

**Why is Asami in charge and not Kuvira?**

I decided that while Kuvira would most definitely be in charge of the ‘troops’ and command them, Asami is the one who knows Korra the best, and someone who thinks up plans. In Legend of Korra cannon, Kuvira was with Bataar Jr. I always liked to think that Kuvira used him for tactical decisions as she is more of a fighter, and less of an intellect. Remember, Kuvira is a foil to Korra. Korra, for much of the show, solved problems with her fists first, and diplomacy later. Asami has replaced Bataar Jr. as Kuvira’s advisor (and lover) but knowing Asami’s character, she wouldn’t take orders from _anyone._

 

**Kuvira doesn’t act like Kuvira in the show! You messed up her character!**

It is true that Kuvira in Legend of Korra is very reserved, almost cold and at the end she kind of goes a little nuts. However, this is an AU and some of the events that influenced Kuvira’s actions are changed namely:

-Su _did_ take over the Earth Kingdom and that removed a lot of the tension between those two and also removed the main reason Kuvira wanted to take over.

-She was unable to save Tonraq. This served to shake her confidence/cocky attitude. In her heart I believe that Kuvira honestly wanted to protect her people, but lost herself in the pursuit of it.

-Bataar Jr. died. While I believe in the show that she didn’t really love him very much, and only used him for a tool. With the aforementioned change, she would have needed someone to find comfort in when she failed to save Tonraq, making Bataar Jr. a much stronger influence over Kuvira. His death hit her hard which is why she took comfort in Asami.

-She’s dating Asami. I like Asami as a character and feel that Kuvira having a close interaction with her, would have helped smooth down some of her rough nature. Asami doesn’t take people’s shit, and wouldn’t let Kuvira command her. She was also very vulnerable after Korra’s transformation, and Kuvira would understand that pain having lost her family at a young age.

-I wanted to show Kuvira’s parallels with Korra. I like the idea of them being similar and I feel that if Kuvira’s circumstances had been different she wouldn’t be the villain in Book 4.

  
**Did you really need to kill off (insert character here)?**

The characters I chose to kill off were not randomly picked. Some of them, such as Katara and Toph, where chosen because they are very, very old and probably were going to die soon anyway. Others like Zhu Li, Bataar Jr., and Hiroshi needed to die to fulfill character development, or plot. Lin, Iroh II, and Mako were chosen because of how much they like to take risks. Their luck had to run out at some point. I promise you that I spent a lot of time thinking about this. No one was randomly axed because I didn’t like them or because I didn’t want to bother writing them in.

**Zhu Li’s wedding band was jade!**

            In the show it was. But Varrick purchasing and giving Zhu Li the ring took place after the altered incident (Tonraq’s death). Because the events changed, other things changed. Varrick would not have been able to have access to a jeweler. Republic City is in ruins, and the only people there are Asami’s small group. Could he have raided a jewelry store? Yeah, probably. Would the ring have fit? Unlikely. Varrick isn’t he kind of guy to leave things to chance. He would have wanted the fit to be perfect, which meant that he would want to make the ring. So I decided that he likely machined it out of some scrap of something he had around the shop. What were they working with? Platinum mostly. Therefore the ring is platinum.

 

**What is your deal with making everything platinum?**

            In the Avatar lore, bending gets a little fuzzy on some things. One of the many questions I have about bending is: At what point can another bender effect something you bent? For example, there are many instances when Bender One throws water, metal, fire etc. and Bender Two blocks by bending it around or away (Some examples include Korra bending Kuvira’s metal plates, and Katara fighting Master Paku). So the question becomes, is it a matter of strength? Distance? Can a more powerful bender overtake what you are actively bending? There’s no clear answer. But I assumed that Korra, being the Avatar, would be extremely powerful. She is the first metalbending Avatar and so most of the things that Asami and Kuvira used would need to be non-bendable. Sadly, this also limits Kuvira a little. During one draft I had a paragraph describing Kuvira fighting Korra and being thrown around because of the metal on her outfit. I still consider that cannon in this world, and is the reason Kuvira is wearing an equalist outfit on missions, and not her uniform.

            So because of all that, I had to think very carefully about things like, Asami’s glove, components of the spirit cannon, and the protection of the base. I ultimately decided (and this is mentioned in the story) that items surrounded by platinum plating are “shielded” from metal benders, and the internal components can be made of whatever they’d like. Evidence to support this includes the scene in the finale of book four when Su and Lin are wrecking the mech’s spirit cannon arm. They are able to bend part of the loading mechanism with metal bending, but were unable to do so from the outside. Now, this could simply be proximity, but the metalbenders in book one were also unable to bend Hiroshi’s mechs and they were in a close proximity to them.

            The final problem I had to take into consideration was the fact that the cannon barrel directed the blast of the spirit vines. We are shown in book four that the cannon can literally shoot through a mountain. That made me wonder why exactly the spirit energy didn’t just explode the mech. After all, would you make a gun barrel out of paper? So that led me to believe that the platinum had some kind of quality that the spirit vines were unable to permeate.

 

**Why didn’t Asami chi block her from the start?**

            I did try to address this in the story. Asami does try to chi block Korra, several times actually, but typically she can’t get close enough. The few times she was able to, the knowledge that it would kill Korra prevented her from finishing the job. She carries a lot of guilt for that.

 

**Why would you write something like this?!**

            Blame toodrunkforurl and Beech27. I started writing this because of them. Toodrunkforurl keeps making awful painful comics, I hope she reads this and cries. Beech27 is a beautiful writer and Republic City Blues is dark and gritty and I loved it. The way that Beech27 has Asami develop made me want to write her that way, dark and broken.

 

 

I am looking forward to seeing all of your reactions and comments on this story. Don’t worry, I still plan on writing happy things in the future. I just wanted to try something different and see what people thought.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

Sy


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